Pieces of a Man

Like a meteorite coming to earth that breaks apart as it tumbles and falls such is the story but in reverse of me having to collect my soul fragments. Near death takes a toll, you can imagine how that story goes because when fear, violence and dread kick in and you think it’s the end of the road then what was once whole is blown into a smithereens as you float there, watching the show. You can feel them go, its like the sun suddenly turning cold, the light remains but the sensation is no more.

Makes me wonder, is this how ghosts are born? Can’t leave as they feel aggrieved by what went on and because they don’t know they’re no longer in physical form as the awareness lingers whilst intellectual processing gone. In that sense it must seem like a dream, timeless as one witnesses scenes but isn’t seen because you’re immaterial. Thats the deal. But just like those nightly views they seem real and one is fooled whilst ones point of reference is within. Anyway, that was an interesting diversion we’ll return to at a later junction as a drunken sailor once shared a fascinating tale of the not yet dead and how it relates to the electromagnetic spectrum as what he did witness is the reason why he sips, in order to keep what remains of his marbles rolling around his brain as he tries to process that which neither fits in a category nor can he replicate or explain. What a predicament for if he says what he thinks they’ll claim he’s insane or had too much to drink but if he doesn’t numb himself to the pain it’s too hard to get through another day. A paradox indeed and one common among those who have such a preternatural experience and the alienation it brings.

Anyway, back to the recollection of my soul fragments. It went a little something like this:

From before after and during there were a stream of women who can only be called strange, in the biblical sense. Either something was feeding on them or through them beyond this realm but most definitely something was up because they were all, in one way or another, damaged specimens. The usual suspects reared their heads, the kind of symptoms one lists when red flags are noticed except here was a steady trail of them, a parade if you will and the thing about self destruction is it is exhilarating because at last you feel more alive than dead. Even if for a brief moment. Tattoos, excessive piercings, a proclivity for drugs, alcohol and sex with more than a dash of recklessness thrown in. Low self esteem, an overwhelming desire to please, manipulation par excellence, the creation of illusions inside your head with ulterior motives fully present as an elegant web of lust, deceit and desire was spun. “Come on in” said the spider “I’ve prepared the bed”. Come and bed most appropriate in this case as I came to recollect “This must be what he meant went he said” as I realized I too had been Dirty Diana’d.

Apparently it’s a common theme, one of legend which goes back to the Arabian Nights, the thousand and one tale which says the same thing. Of men who were beguiled, bewitched and waylaid as they were seduced and reduced from their original state into something that lacked the inner sensory phase to continue to hold the sway and influence they had on their awareness before they came. Yes, sex is an energy. Spiritual EXchange way beyond this Game. This is why the right kind of orgasm can liberate you from your mortal frame as an out of body experience. Except when its done like this and you regain your wherewithal the thieves have walked away with the temples greatest asset. Not for nothing in the old country did they say “She has taken my liver away”.

Not heart, no no, but liver. Think on this and what I earlier said about the sun which is only light but no warm sensation as well as Prometheus’ tale and you’ll start to perceive what I mean. Or maybe you can’t relate because like the Drunken Sailor some thing are way beyond the frame of those who haven’t played at the depths where you have so much skin in the Game that parts of you get held hostage.

No more bets please!

I knew intuitively what was at stake, I also knew I had no choice but to ride the rollercoaster I found myself on as getting off would certainly cause a tragedy and thus I set off on a series of strange events and even stranger women. I’m talking from all around the globe. Vancouver, Toronto, LA, New York as well, an Australian, one who tried not to pretend she wasn’t from Lebanon, Polish, English as well. I thought the ride would never end. All separate and yet all imbued with one drive, one presence, one intent. To take what they already had of mine and extract further still. To kill someone bleeding is nothing, so it seems, to make him die breathing is a thing of beauty if you believe and think as they think and do as they do. I know as I’m living proof.

I had to do the dance. It’s like the meeting of two thieves with both knowing the other has what they need with the intent to relieve, artfully, by any means. Better yet is if you get them to give you the keys as they turn off all the security because then, on a karmic level at least, no harm no foul in your scoresheet. Some of them are so deep in the Game and have no intent to escape. Their debt to the house is so great they are pretty much staff on a salary at this stage. Called into to act in various psychodramas as required to advance plot points in those who play. You’ll see why I call it a Game because once you’ve been where I been you suddenly notice the strings, on others as well as self which is why I think free will doesn’t exist. Thats a fantasy, one of many we sell ourselves and then manufacture proof for as we hide the fact that we lie to ourselves.

Think of the Dirty Diana ruse like the moon, there is what you see but the rest is hidden from view. Underneath this all there is the secret truth, that without you there is no them. At least in the illumined sense because they reflect the light that you present and thus its all an illusion, hence why they covet what you bring and wish to keep it for themselves. And thus begins the deception which can and does lead to illumination if you manage to regain yourself. Like I said in the opening, the meteorite coming to Earth falls into fragments ergo the soul that wishes to ascend must make a trip around the planet to visit people, places and events in order to regain their own elements then fuse and cleanse them to become once again whole, in a sense. Except its never like this. You only progress and things you’ve witnessed can’t be unknown as you develop a level of awareness which simply transcends, this is the realm of myth and why such imagery and allegory is the very fabric of the human experience, something we’ll look at in detail as we examine the stitch and script of how we came to live like this.

I keep meandering, hope you’re keeping up my friend. The reason for this is there are no natural straight lines in life you’ll find and thus the divine moves spirally. This I can attest, directly as I went from here to there trying to make sense of the events and people present as the implications I could sense were definitely immense. Some times I fell and tripped, others I skated with elegance, a few I was brutally efficient and in one I checked mate before they’d even picked up a piece. All in all it was good because I reclaimed the pieces of my soul and I hear you asking: “Give us details, what does this all mean? I’ve read a thousand words off the screen but I still can’t see clearly”.

See therein lies the rub. I can’t make you perceive what I feel. Especially when its ultradimensional and thus beyond the realm of 3D. Language is super limited when one ventures into energy but read the Arabian Nights as there is a tale that describes it adequately or take the metaphors and imagery I’ve served and allow it to marinate internally and if you’re meant to you’ll turn the key. Ultimately we all will play on this level, at this difficulty because the Game of Souls is nothing if even as well as scripted to a T, my G. Or 22/7 = 3.14 unfolding to unfinity, see what I mean?

No, of course you don’t. So let me break it down simply and in the process remove all subtlety and what it means. The previous stop of the adventure was a few summers ago and since I’ve made leaps and feel way more of myself than I’d been for quite a while as my liver is at ease and no longer tormented by the Promethean eagle as decreed. By your own thoughts, deeds and actions are you freed because that is all you control ultimately. Here goes:

Girl enters the scene having been prepped accordingly. She sidles in with a veneer of flirtatious energy because as I’ve said before they give to get and the bait is hooked before they stroll on the scene. See Buddha with Mara for an example of what I mean, it’s a tale as old as dirt and one all on the path to enlightenment meet with varying degrees of brutality. Oh the humanity! So like a game of poker in the flesh where either side wants to get what the other does posses the stakes are high as we dance as it’s an exchange of wills, intent and energy. “I’m going to L.A, Vegas as well and the Golden Gate” said she “I have a friend who went to China instead she made an absolute fortune”. Did you see it? No of course you didn’t but in that simple exchange the tone was set because it all happens in an instant and you’re either present enough to flip it or sit there later on wondering “What happened?”.

By going West you will always have less because that is where the sun sets, remember what I said about its reflection, warmth and presence? To go on a trip means you pay ergo you spend and gain the experience of going where you went. A Lost Angel is a misplaced soul aka the fragment I intend to reclaim from her reach – how it got there? Ask her parent, I say one as she hated the other to death, purely out of her own ignorance at what it was that placed her in the predicament she calls life and led to the steps which caused our paths to cross. Actually lets delve:

You’re playing pool, hit the cue which smacks red then yellow before another red sinks. Thats transference. The universal principles of spin, motion, resistance as well as the energy which animates them. Thats how all relationships and interactions are when broken down to their constituents. If a girl steals a warriors liver she doesn’t do it in the physical, unless she’s a honeypot organ thief with Scopolamine on her lips to give you a deadly kiss as you wake up in a tub of ice wondering how you got into this. Look, you’ll see the same images. Like I said, myths and levels all the way from now in Mexico to back then in Arabian desert. Energy clicks and clacks. There is an exchange, things are said with both mouth, mind and flesh and like a fencer you must counter with elegance or find yourself impaled on a blade so impeccability thin you only realize that you’re dead once you’ve been murdered in silence.

I know I’m not dealing with a person. Her presence is entirely irrelevant. Like flesh on a skeleton it gives it characteristics but its the bones which bring the heft and presence and thus its like I’m negotiating with a terrorist for the release of my soul fragment. Obviously they’ll never give it up because they’re only there to get more and if not a pound of flesh will suffice as they’ll add that to their war chest. And so we dance. For almost a year in this instance. The aim is simple:

I have to move around the pieces of the puzzle life presents as embodied by this woman by decoding what she said and meant in order to unlock the combination which brings the part of me she obtained via astral chicanery back into the fold of my presence. Doing that I’ve also got to avoid the abundance of rage, pain and shame she carries within and attempts to hide, even from herself. The latter emotion is the one that connected us as the last piece I had to collect was shame. Such a corrosive emotion as it destroys so many of its counterpoints easily. Say goodbye to serenity, trust, acceptance, joy and ecstasy as they are corrupted into vigilance, rage and loathing laced with grief. A part of me wished to help her, such is my natural state of empathy but I knew that its all deceit, even if the feelings are real as she lies to herself as much as she lies to me as the truth is too bitter for her to approach directly. So whilst I was lacing my game to reclaim the worst part of my history, personified as it was by the girl standing in front of me.

Here’s something to help you perceive:

I was also dropping insight on the way so she could also self free because I know she wouldn’t be there if she wasn’t suffering as much as me. We’re all broken into pieces. Everyone in this reality gets the rough end of a crooked deal because the stage at which we’re playing is all about feeding the beast and its desert, main course and entree are the same plus its always hungry. For innocence, that inner sense with which we’re born abundantly but few get to keep beyond the age of three. If you reflect, I’ve just given you the key, twist the lock and you’ll be free. If only it were that easy, like I said subtlety. All of which I’m mangling as I render into text the experience of her and me, the Dirtiest Diana most certainly.

You know how they say women with the lowest self esteem give you the best sex? It’s true because they think so little about themselves that they’ll willingly degrade and allow you to treat them like a hot mess just so they can think “I bought that pleasure to him, me, I’m something special”. Of course that never lasts because broken pots have sharp edges and beyond a temporary dalliance in which the sparks fly for a moment no man with an ounce of self respect will tolerate the baggage that comes with this so they’re dumped, fast and quick, the moment you meet a better prospect. Women in general don’t handle rejection well, especially when it comes from left field and this can actually motivate them to kill. Or at least think about it and here we meet. This was her internal state, written large across her face. So in effect I had to dance through a minefield without losing a limb whilst avoiding all manner of traps and various distractions in order to reclaim my shame which I’d then have to take home and cleanse, reintegrate and reparent to ensure my entire electromagnetic spectrum was once again present and correct. Except this time it had been raised an octave so it would be much more vivid and powerful, alls well.

There were various interactions, bits of this and some of that but the mate was stale. Like bread that had been sitting out of the wrap for so long it was about to mould on the table. Yes at 22 years old she was the most complicated I’d yet to beat which spoke volumes of how broken she was internally as I may have been fragmented when death came and visited me but she had been shattered and then the remains ground to smithereens and a kaleidoscope of chaos was all she perceived as reality. If thats all you see then thats what you create and leave in your wake. To me that means you’ve got a train wreck waiting to happen and the driver is drunk in the seat as she leans on the accelerator of self deceit.

Now stop and think for a minute, this is all unfolding in my awareness ergo she is an embodied personification of an element of me. Yikes! So glad I did the inner work needed to cleanse and heal because on reflection it was so accurate it’s scary as we are driven from beneath the surface via events and emotions we neither notice nor perceive as we act on their energy. Instead they poke and prod like a rider with a whip and we, as the horse, unaware of the manip run off, real quickly, in the direction we’re pointed which is why after we often sit and scream “Why did I do this?” as we witnessed how we just blew up our life into ever finer pieces.

Anyway, I had to think. I’m speaking to shame made flesh. A part of me I’d rather reject than accept and then it hit me. I’ve got to befriend that corrosive emotion and accept it as it is. And thus began my salvation which took me almost two summers to accomplish on this the final test, the boss stage of that level if you will. Instead of kicking philosophy and things from the realm of the intellect I went straight to the emotion because the reasoning being that if I tell her what my shame wished to hear from me it will instinctively reject not only her presence where it ran because it knew it would fit in and find plenty more like it nestled within her head it will transcend and thus come back under my influence, a healed soul, no longer a fragment.

This last part is important because it’s all we want on some level. You must accept as is to make it into something else. If you wish to shape a pot the clays presence is essential and how you spin affects the end of the process. Same thing here I came to realize so I spoke to my soul and told it I think its perfect as it is and truly meant it and this caused an immense and immediate shift because I accepted what defined itself by the feeling of reject. On the physical level the girl, possibly due to other things in her life beyond our exchange – like I said, she was a train wreck in a short dress with ink stained limbs that stood as testament to the hate for herself as piercings straddled her form as a socially accepted way to inflict pain on her flesh when she couldn’t place herself in situations to make herself someone else’s victim and thus could continue to blame them and rage whilst engaging in destructive habits all the while sending the message to her parents that “I hate you both but one so more I willingly desecrate what you made for making me feel this way” – she quickly started to change. Massive bursts of emotion, tears, withdrawn etc she was all over the place. A part of me was concerned for her safety, beyond what I had to reclaim because regardless of whats at stake there was a human being suffering and in immense pain. Sure some was an act, a pure display designed to manipulate as she could feel the fragment she had being wrestled away as my own presence held more sway and the rest was super real and plain as day as a vent for her inner state.

Things came to head when I flipped the master switch. Imagine a part of you that always felt rejected, something you never wanted and then proceed to fill with memories of bad events, people you don’t like and all sorts of emotions like this. How would that part feel? It would feel shame at existing and bringing you all of these ills. That shame could easily rage as it flips from here to there trying, and failing to fit into your idealized image of self. Just before that it all clicked, I had a dream she’d killed herself. Well almost as I came in to a building where she was hanging and pulled her down of the ledge, took the rope from around her neck and set her down before I left. Not a word was said during this sequence but I did notice some new ink on her chest, we’ll get into the drives of tattoos and emotional events somewhere else, that made me wonder about the mess I was in and the implications of everything.

As fate would have it, as it often did, she “just happened” to pop up at that moment and I said “I had a dream in which you had some tatts underneath your breasts” and she replied “Oh you mean like this” and showed me the same things. Now this was interesting, did it mean she was going to kill herself? Is that the implication of me regaining my soul fragment? That hate and shame are the only things keeping this poor wretch holding on to her flesh? In that case she could have it, if she needed it more and it would prevent the events I’d foreseen from happening because suicide is a tough thing to inflict, not only on yourself but those who remain in the flesh to pick up the pieces that are left and I simply couldn’t class that as a win, no matter what I’d get, even if I’d fail the test and would thus reincarnate again as you can’t get out of the Game unless you leave with all you came in. If you stop and think you’ll see I’ve just given you another key about the karmic nature of relationships. How many fragments are you unwittingly chasing from previous brushes with life and death? Could that be the reason you feel a nagging emptiness or why certain people you meet have an almost magnetic influence that makes you feel like more of your self with them than you ever could be alone? Are you starting to see the code that falls around and so few sense?

Anyway, things had came to a head and I was squeezed between a rock and a hard place. I’d been through so much since I was first tongue kissed by death that warm summer day over 10 ago that lead me to lose and gain things that would take a lifetime to explain to one who wouldn’t get as they lack the inner experience of non physical realms and here, it all culminated with this. It felt like your life or theirs, someone has to lose for another to win and it felt so unfair. Strange really because its not like it had been all above board and smooth sailing to get there but to have to face this. If she died I in effect killed a young girl who had just set out adventuring and was trying to come to grips with the pain she felt filled her from within and tucked away in her electromagnetic spectrum was a piece of myself that either may be the key that sets me free or means I have to repeat another lifetime in the flesh. Decisions, decisions so I think.

“What if I just tell her the truth? That I was broken into pieces by fate as my friends decided to murder me one day and chunks of my soul escaped, flying through time and space to embed themselves in a different range of ladies who embodied the vibration which resonates and I flew around the world getting them back so I may reintegrate their rays back into my solar spectrum so I may actualize my highest potent”

You know how crazy that would sound? What would I expect her to say? “Err, right?” with a confused look on her face. People don’t like the truth, as a rule, as they’ve been conditioned by lies as that is the nature of the Game whereas I realize that honesty everywhen is the only way to get out of this realm. As you can see there was a lot at stake and I’m up in a spot when she comes by with her friends, not a glance my way.

Ah yes, I know this game. The cats cradle meaning I’m here, just where you happen to be, isn’t that strange? But don’t think its anything to do with affection or because I want your attention. Those who own felines know this well as its their natural state in contrast to a dog which falls over itself to tell you you’re so great and how they’d do anything for you. Anyway, I’m getting up to leave after I’d been doing what I do and she says “I’m leaving, going away” with a strange look on her face. A part of me can already see the noose swinging as I dreamt of the other day. But then I remember, it didn’t end that way. I pulled her off the ledge and removed the rope from her neck and went on my merry way, yes, I did that happily and just like the dream had said there was silence there as it was today. Interesting, I think, but then roll up her friends so I asked the coven if they could give us a moment and at that she runs off to her car, wailing.

Now I was concerned. There was a part of me that thinks “She isn’t going to do it, this is all for attent and besides in the dream you saved her so do what you need to in this moment and redress the balance”. Another part of me thinks “Sure, go ahead. Gamble with someone else’s life when you could make a difference. See what that brings and if you could live with the consequence”.

I walked to the park and see her sitting in her car, jabbering real hard into her phone and then it flowed. Like inspiration from near and far, not how to kill two with one stone but how to save two souls with some words using the dual reality principle which I outlined at the beginning, where we say one thing on one level which has different implications in the next (see travel plans and the example I laid out at the head) so I grabbed the door, stuck in my head and said:

“We should be together”

and watched her face quickly flip through a Rolodex of emotions and I knew that I’d win, won and was winning. She wasn’t going to do anything, I regained my soul fragment filled with shame and left to get on with my journey of self healing. Case closed. The end.

If you’re wondering what I meant and haven’t figured it out for self then it goes a little something like this:

Parts of yourself that have been exiled generally fell like they’ve been rejected from your awareness and thus they dwell in the subconscious realm where they mumble and groan about why they live like this. As you can imagine they develop a victim mindset and that corrosive energy calls more to it like them from your life experiences that you edit in your head as you jettison events you don’t like into the abyss of your inner realm. This is why most people are truly frightened to look inside themselves as they’d have to come face to face with these ghosts who rattle age old chains as they tell spooky tales of events you’d wish would just go away. They are there, in each and everyone. Plain as day under the noontime sun as there is ultimately nowhere to run so they hide in your physical and cause the pain and torment your doctor can’t treat. The vanishing and re-appearing injuries, the back pain which knocks you out or the so called age related maladies. All are due to these emotions and states we disown as “Not me”. They have to go somewhere and often to express they are projected out into reality meaning the angry man finds people to make him rage, frequently and easily. The woman who feels worthless always picks out the men who make her feel weak and treat her poorly. Both get to keep on blaming others, the parts they disown get to speak freely, albeit through anothers energy and so on it goes.

Rinse and repeat.

My life was the same but more dramatic as you’ll see because I died in a sense and had to rebirth myself internal and eternally via the interactions I detailed on your screen. Now, the prime motivation for suicide is that people feel “No one cares about me. If I died no one would miss me. I’m a burden and I’ve got no reason to be”. The suicidee whilst still living rarely thinks to test this state of mind to see if it has any basis in reality and most people in their lives never reassure them of this need as they take for granted and assume you implicitly know how they feel.

On the flip, a part of yourself that felt so intensely exiled that it actually leaves not only your mind but physical frame and spins out as pure energy has the same resonance that “No one wants or cares about me” so it gets in where it fits in. Hence misery lxves company.

The antidote to both of these? Such beautiful simplicity:

“We should be together”

And with that I beat the toughest enemy whilst simultaneously making myself complete after a decade of wandering aimlessly as I put myself back together piece by piece. This is my story. This is where I’ve been so trust me when I say I’m well versed in all aspects of pain but better still I know how to create, or more accurately release, the joy thats within as that is our natural state of being and one if we employ then we all win aka the nonzero principle.


Till we meet again

Silent Nation

I am the voice of the voiceless. Those that still feel within, even though they live in this world of sin in which daring to be different is something they won’t let you think, let alone envsion. Neither can you state the obvious about the madness within which we swim and how it’s evidently getting thick.

“Just shut up and obey” is the message they’ve been pouring into your head since you first were plugged in to a system that cares not one bit about you beyond what you can do for it. There it is, I said it and you know you all feel the truth deep within. The once and future King said a similar thing and they crucified him for daring to step off script and that is due to the way the world is because of the tyranny of evil men who exist purely to destroy innocence and promulgate foolishness instead so that those who still have a finger-hold on sanity left quietly question, to themselves “That can’t be right, can it?”.

Most dare not express that which shows they think different because it’s all about fitting in. Especially on the net where there are demons baying for flesh who look around for someone to avenge. When in reality its all about releasing the vent on their own inadequateness – that they’d never admit to themselves and yet is obvious in an instant to anyone who sees the real person behind the image – and not the all powerful creation online they’re digitally cosplaying as an adjunct to their futile existence.

In times of universal deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act. The thing is with that the very revolution is a trap as it rolls around the map and brings you right back to where you stand, ready for another lap. A perpetual motion machine fuelled by the ignorance of saps who know not where or what they are beyond the labels fed to them and programmed deep within.

What you’re looking for is a spiral. Involution beyond the flesh where each circuit lighting up brings a new pespect as you see through a clearer lens until at the end you ditch that as well as you simply feel everything with a vividness that transcends the split the senses bring as there is only one electromagnetic spectrum we dance in, one point of origin and yet there are multiple versions of self but only one true Self.

I came not to bow but to conquer my friend. Freedom is an inside job and I’m going to share the steps it takes to ascend as there is simply too much beauty within to spend your life surrounded by ugliness.

Till we meet again

Crying Freeman

Nobody can help if you won’t let them. Man this was a hard lesson for me to grasp in this life as i’ve always done everything. Mine the gold from the ground, heat it up so to melt then form it into a crown which I then placed upon my head. “Me? Need help? Pfft, don’t be stupid” I said as I seriously considered getting my sweat glands removed at that moment before i realized thats how Bruce ended up dead.

I say that to say this, a single stick is weak. A bundle has great strength. But what do you do when your life experience tells you that most people are next to useless and even them at their best doesn’t match the dregs of you putting in next to no effort? What a paradox to find oneself in. Sure, this may reek of arrogance but thats only because your incapable of visualzing the targets which I hit. It’s common with high performers in this realm, this sense of isolation because mediocrity is what we’re trained for and its something so many accept because it paves the path the least reject. What they don’t tell you is that it leads to a town called Lack of Fulfilment, filled with people who have to live with this empty sensation in their chest. The nagging emptiness which hints that something’s missing from the deck. They’ll do anything to forget. So they drink, smoke, have sex, play games, surf the net, watch some flicks. Anything to ignore the signs of where they’re headed as end of the line says but one thing:

“You blew it kid. you had all the skills, all the talent and yet you picked the easy way out. No effort put in, a total lack of discipline. you’re a bum. Yeah I said it, go on get out of here, you stink”. I guess Mickey doesn’t love you. Stay down, you son of a bish. Or maybe he does and this is why he said it. Let’s say you heed the message and decide to pick up sticks and take a trek to greener pastures instead. You walk the path of thorns, they tear you to shreds and just when you’re thinking of giving in you come up smelling of roses which are spread upon the ground for you to tread. Suddenly it all makes sense. You wish for nothing else than for all to witness and experience the feeling of transcendence you’ve seen, been and are, eternally, outside and within. To share the same message and feeling with those living in Loserville with its rusty, dusty tenements and general air of filth and degredation. Cramped in to an urban jungle which is permeated with its own form of savage intent due to the lack of connection with their true Self and the richness that lives within.

See, the thing is you can lead them to thoughts but you can’t make them think. Thats an internal process and something they’ve got to do for self and in many ways reflects the opening statement of not bring able to help if they won’t let you. See how neatly that flipped? Man I’m really good at this, even if I say so myself. Now, is that stating a fact of another display of arrogance he said as he left the Land of the Plebs only to find the thorns were back again and this time they’d bought friends. Onwards he treads back to the land of rose petals which soothe his wounds as he sits alone in his kingdom, inhaling their fragrance, wondering “How can I make them get it?” to himself.

So take this as my request for help. I’m in need of assistance to share a message that can generate a sense of fulfilment that is so immense that your cup is literally overfilled and you wish others could drink from the plenty you feel within but the nature of this drink is it can only touch their lips. It evaporates in that instant as it’s only there to provide a hint that what he did you too can do for self. But who wants to walk on thorns? Leave the zone of comfort thats filled with all of their friends and so many distractions as well just to head solo for the hills? The thing is its only once you’re at the peak you recognize the Valley of Death for what it is and feel a rush of sympathy for those still trapped within.

Previously I tried giving them a fish, hoping the taste and sensation it brings would make it click. That just made them more dependent on my presence and I disliked it because whats the point in trading your own weakness to borrow anothers strength? They simply wish not to build and thus their temple languishes with no one to tend the light within. Such is the existence of those living in the land of unfulfilment. Entirely ignorant of the paradigm they dwell within and not bright enough to think of the world outside of the shadow play they witness.

Plato spoke of the same thing and people still don’t get it even though they like to quote and play with his concepts in an intellectual sense. But they don’t wish to live it. No, no thanks to the Mind Made Prision that keeps the plebs potential chained within and this is why I can’t bring myself to let them help, when all along I’ve helped myself and countless others emancipate themselves from mental slavery because, as Bob said, none but ourselves can free our minds.

It’s the mind state which defines everything. All I can do if offers hints and the process I myself used to get where I am today in the hopes to see you rise to the heights of your own awareness.

All that said, I relish the challenge it brings. See, I’m playing the Game of Souls on a far higher level than the rest because I intend to actualize my potent in the flesh in order to transcend the three steps beyond this realm at the end of my sojourn in the flesh as the ticket home comes at a cost and I’ve paid that to be the boss. It’s my head. My awareness. My presence. My gift. I want you to have the same thing but tailored perfectly to your manifestation in this realm so we can then trade experiences and build even higher on levels yet uncomprehended.

Me sitting here pushing the pen then publishing this on the web is akin to asking and simultaneously offering help. For now, it’s the closest I’ll get because I’ve got such high standards paired with not much faith in the average person who is stuck in a living hell and never thought “I should get out of this mess”. Instead they chose to decorate their cell and make it a more comfortable stretch as opposed to making a break for freedom by overcoming the warden who dared to imprison them in the first place in the psychosocial insanitorum known as the Land of the Plebs aka the Valley of Death or the cost one pays for being born in the 21st cent.

To get to the roses you must endure the thorns because they’re there to see who is true to the cause and who wants to take the trip that leads them beyond their self proscribed limits. This all comes down to a mindset. That of Slaves, Masters and the tiny fraction of Warriors that grace the plane at this stage. It’s to them I call out because they’ll get what I mean, no doubt, as they’ve thought it themselves. Spiritual evolution is a solo process which is paradoxical considering what you get is a sense of union with the source of all existence that manifests as each and everything, everywhen. Yes, even the plebs. Although they don’t realize this. Yet.

That is why its called willhelp with a me stuck on the end because as I said in my Statement of Intent, you are another me ergo by helping you I help myself and thus bring new wind to sails as the rising tide lifts all ships and one by one the self evident nature of what I express clicks and peoples inner glows are illumined once again. “Hello, my old friend. So nice to see you again” says their private realm as they step into its familiar newness “Yes, yes. I used to play here all the time. My, how long has it been?”. That is what I want you to experience and then tell me what you find within because unlike the Land of the Plebs aka the Valley of Death those who dwell as peak experience Kings (and Queens, the difference is immaterial as polarity doesn’t exist up on the hill) will do something different when it comes to raising the kids and that is how we change the world, by first changing ourselves and then listening to the fresh awareness they bring via minds unpolluted by the busines of living. That pure energy so foreign to this stale realm that still lives within the chests of all men and women who gave in to the adulteration process that made them shift into replicas without originals. Faux human beings decieving themselves. Tell me that doesn’t sould like hell?

What a bizarre paradigm. But much like a fish who is entirely ignorant of the water within which it swims, one of their own pointing out makes little sense as they entirely lack the same frame of reference as he who has been on the hook and escaped the fishermen after learning the lesson about bait which is designed to glisten as well the nature of the Game as enforced by the Mind Made Prision that social programming built.

Either way, this is happening. Take this as a warning and prepare yourself because I came to conquer, not bow or negotiate with terrorists who hold the whole worlds awareness hostage via the promotion of ignorance.

Till we meet again

Nearly Hypnotized to Death

In this life your friends are actually enemies, and enemies best friends because one accepts your mediocrity where the other offers a challenge. Just as one avoids the soft spots whilst the other prods relentlessly in order to make you defend, rise up, gather your power and marshal yourself.

You see where I’m going with this?

Not yet?

You will.

See entropy rules the day in ninety nine point nine percent of peoples lives. It’s also why they’re dissatisfied as nothing great ever came from lying on the couch, passing time. Just as working nine to five always ensures you get less than your worth as you bake the pi of life and in return they offer you a slice. But thats another tale.

The seductive allure of the rut lined with velvet as it is represents modern life and all its convenience. We amuse ourselves to death with myriad distractions and things, all the while obscuring the fact that time is passing. Like an arrow it flies one way which, for most gets duller due to inaction.

Your friends encourage this. Misery loves company says it best. “But what? that makes no sense. I have the best times with them. We smile, sing and dance among many other things, whilst my enemies make me wince. I feel sad and upset then my friends help protect, so prove what you said”

That is a challenge I accept. It is in our very nature to put the least effort in. We scrape by with the minimum for the vast majority of things. Very few attack menial tasks, like the cleaning of dish with wholehearted focus and laser like intent. Yet if they did, they’d discover something.

A vast reservoir of power that was there, within. Quietly awaiting for your call, to come to attention. This state is your birthright, your true inheritance and with it you can do absolutely anything. But we are so lazy. Creatures who enjoying comforting. Whether habits, shortcuts or excuses – we’ve wrote the book, because we can. And these are the secret codes so many live their lives within because “Everyone else does it, so I might as well”. Hence friends

You choose and coalesce due to the similarity of views. A commonality that runs through due to say, sharing a class at school and, for the most at least, we seek pleasure and attempt to flee from any kind of pain or injury.

Within friendships there is a subtle, often unspoken hierarchy as there is one who leads and others who follow behind he. Call it strength of personality, charisma, good looks or usually all three. Its the way that it is and will always be as most people are surrounded my averageness and mediocrity so the unusual and exceptional seems most shiny. The other side to the coin is no one wants to be alone, we thrive in company as the combined energy of two peeps is way more than they are singly and this multiples exponentially with a group, know what I mean?

The thing is that crabs in a bucket mentality that slowly but surely creeps onto the scene between repartee as envy is a thing that permeates reality. The same that liked grow to hate because they can’t be what you are effortlessly and this is why I say the best friend you can have is an enemy because they both carry the same hate within but at least the latter is honest.

They’ll tell you you’re a mess and how you haven’t done a thing yet when you’d rather sit back and look at your success. They drive you on to do more because we are naturals when it comes to being competitive. It’s a winners win kind of thing, if you aren’t you won’t comprehend.

With all that said, simply try it for yourself. If you’re fat there is a high chance you have fat friends. See what happens when you start changing your way of eating and how quickly the phone rings less. “Oh, she’s so full of herself with this idea to get into that dress.” “She’s not the same these days” are the kind of things they’ll say because you trying to change represents a threat to their unspoken hierarchy and thus their very identity.

What does this have to do with me and my NDE? Everything and nothing really, just another stream of consciousness captured for thee… If anything it represents a new beginning, see? As between then and now via the sweat of my brow and more than a sprinkling of metaphysical things I saw what kicks on the other end and then came back again with a new and improved perspective on myself and insights into the nature of reality as well.

If death isn’t the end then life must shift because so much of everything is built on the fear of an end or potential rewards we may get and thus the veil of ignorance can and must slip so that we catch a glimpse of our true self. Once you witness for yourself the rest becomes self evident and then the real fun begins as the anagram funeral hints. Just a little something to make you think…

Till we meet again

Stream of Consciousness

Here I am, tapping keys, looking at a screen as I prep the video I’ve just made that will change your frame of mind and with that hopefully your life. A large thing for some but small in the great sense when one realizes just what they isn’t because in the grand scheme of things this, this illusion of knowledge is what prevents you from seeing your Self. Notice the capital S, there? Oh yes, it makes a differences. Language is something we’re sure to cover, or uncover in the literal sense as its stomps around in peoples heads messing with their conceptual realm and quite literally the world is under a spell.

All this because I didn’t create the vid I thought I would when I lifted the lid on the lense and said “Lets make a film about death as per my experience”. As you’ll see when I hit send I’m simply not in the mood to speak on that yet as I’m feeling so smooth that nothing can interrupt this groove. I’d hazard a guess and say thats based on todays events which left me high but not dry as I’m hydrated well and floating on a higher level thanks to the arrangement within of my neurochemical soup in this instance.

The best dealer in the world lives inside your head and did you know with a certain breath, posture or event you can unleash higher and higher realms of coherence that feel absolutely magnificent. Most people don’t know this because most people are three fifths dead but too stupid to get it until the fat lady sings. Oh yes, no PC madness on this end with “plus sized vocal talent” to perform like a verbal gym. You’ll get it raw and direct like she did with her 4th helping of pudding to put down her first payment on 6th chin that oscillates as she’s warbling.

Not a nice way to speak of death but then that really is the topic and once again I’ve went off on a tangent, like a tangerine. Amazing how those segments stuck together beneath a durable shell that offers protection and nourishment against the elements and how you can consume, plant and consume again. Where is the death?

Isn’t the something? Life in a nutshell my friend and why there is no such thing as the end as the example illustrates and as we’ll get into in detail on another day.

Till we meet again

The Devolution Will Be Televised

Twice upon a time there was a boy who died and much like life he met it with a smile. All because his internal light still shines all the while as he embodies the bright with no modifying flaws or slight, real or imagined. Unlike the shade that’s thrown around most peoples souls as they proudly proclaim they’re grown. In other words adulterated. Impure. Say it isn’t so? And so they go to the grave unaware of the riches with which they were born, an inheritance ignored as they choose instead to be slaves in a world so war torn because they can’t rule their thoughts. Their abundance unknown as it can’t be bought or sold only shown and allowed to unfold.

I’m grateful because long before they came for my dome I knew and suspected there was a letter hidden within, a sacred message that I yearned to decode when I came into this world back when it was still analog connections. You could fine tune then, see? Like a missile of awareness let go to hit the target. Bang! Done. Bingo! Find the space in between to heed the message, the divine one. The silence of soul from which awareness is born.

Whereas now that option is long gone, son, because the devolution is televised with lies told to your eyes by those who know no better than whats transcribed. With trance being the operative state of mind because the tricks are out here tricking and there’s no treats in sight because between a one and zero you play out your life. In the blink of eye it can be good night and unlike I you won’t survive. Because you weren’t ready to die the first time and thus can’t begin your second life with third eye shining bright sharing these omens I describe from the vision that gives sight beyond sites seeing through this here and the so called after life, as well as a small slice of proto-time and what it means to be alive and caught up in the lie that you can die. Like light in a prism which divides, you’ve got to reverse the process. Go back and unify and that’s why you see the “be kind, rewind” life flash in front of your eyes at the moment you expire because the only key that fits the lock is the one you run from. Lets break it down, one time:

Prana, Orgone, Cosmic Energy, Chi, The Ether all these things they tell you are lies, vestiges of a foolish past and simplistic state of humanity. Don’t believe, right? Wrong. Your so called knowledge is the bond which prevents you from holding your own because they stole a piece of your soul way before you mastered the system and its lies. Except, nothing can be taken. Nothing is ever less than whole. But if they hide it behind the wall you yourself formed then the shadow is all you know. Alienated from your own glow. Another one claimed by the Game of Souls.

Look within your core, see past the pain you’ve endured by diving straight in and not trying to numb yourself to what hurts. This world is a test for those born into a unfinite circle of awareness and then taught to seek out corners where none exist. All because “So and so said there must be some…” so they run on in quest that absorbs their very essence due to what they ignore. The pure and silent call which cannot be heard or discerned any more. Not when noise reigns loud and strong in their dome, telling them how to perform.

And on trudges the herd. Flaunting the ignorance which powers the system that holds them stupefied and enthralled. Trying to make it so you contort, conform and adorn yourself with the outer things they say you should want even though they don’t make a lasting difference at all. You’ve known the truth all along.

See the square I’ve outlined and why I don’t bother running round because I’m the center of the world. You all spin around my core as my awareness is the canvas upon which I paint the picture of life. I am the artist, breath is my ink at least that’s what I think.

You’re welcome to try it for yourself. Start by asking yourself this:

“Am I breathing as I should or simply as I can? Am I living within limits that shift like the sands and always seem to be out of reach no matter how near or far I am? But the goals seem so tempting and they always do mention how I’ll feel much better when <fill in the dream> so I acquiesce even though the processes itself is intolerable. A veritable living hell. All around me do the same and are generally miserable. Am I different? Is this who I am? A bit player in someone else’s plan?”

If on the other hand you see the nature of the carrot dangling free but whose pursuit costs everything indeed then you realize the parable of ignorance that devours this reality. We could all stop running this instant and say “Hey friend, why don’t you eat this carrot stuck to my head and she realizes the same thing and suddenly we see we have enough for everybody to feast and then, and only then, can the real fun begin. Because artificial scarcity creates inflated demand much like the diamonds which they sell and laugh as they glisten on your hand. Symbols of the dreams they tell you and you not only believe but buy in, wholeheartedly with no going back but never think of the scam and quite how underhand the entire thing is. Nope. They never suspect a thing.

Everything is like this. every single thing in this stage of the game called reality where sanity is a rarity and collective insanity rules the day.

There isn’t a thought you’ve had until now that came from the mainstream that was designed in some way to keep you weak, poor or afraid. Listen to what I say:

Weak is the one who doesn’t know his innate strength.
Poor is she who thinks wealth is currency and not the mind that creates the reality and afraid are those who were told and think that’s how it goes without the insight to question “Wait, were those who taught me this my friends or foes?”.

See this type of thinking can lead to many things because the path is your own and you make it by walking. Then and only then will you get what it is that I’m talking about because I’m coming from a place that doesn’t currently exist on your map.

The promised land if you will.

I’m here to call you back. Back to yourself. Within.

Freedom is an inside job.

The devolution will be televised.

Look. You can see it occurring as we speak.

Till we meet again

Statement of Intent

Since I was a child I’ve been motivated to uncover truth. Of this world. Of the people in it. Of myself. The question of “Why?” is a powerful one and there is a reason its followed in the alphabet by Z because most are lulled into a slumber before they even progress. Yes, its a very stealthy state of affairs when it comes to the Game of Souls we play here on this planet and now, on this auspicious day, at this auspicious time surrounded by auspicious portents its time to actualize the willhelp.me concept.

The aim is nothing less than transcendence, in every sense of the word including those you may know and never even thought because there is immense power in the sound that comes out of your lips. Just as the entire process of your eyes taking in the light of these glyphs and stitching together what I expressed in this sentence. Its a miracle, if you think, but like I said most people catch Zs not long after Y makes its appearance. It costs nothing to pay attention but its very expensive to remain ignorant.

I intend to share working solutions based on my insight and experience along with my observations on things. None of this is how you think it is, especially if you don’t think and simply accept what others opine about everything. My approach is very different because I’ll give you the tools I use and allow you to make your mind up for yourself. At its most fundamental level its about reconnecting within to that inner kid who still lives no matter how much you pretend to be grown (whatever that is) as your essence itself can never be adulterated. The question is how far along the stream do you sip the waters of consciousness? Does the awareness that caresses and embraces your presence run pure from its point of origin or along the way has someone built an industrial ecosystem which spews its share of poison in so you’re forced to subsist on liquid filth as you think “Its not what it was, but its better than nothing”.

See therein lies the trick. The first step in all of this. Responsibility. For everything. That means no blame, pointing fingers at her, him or them because the three that point back present the hint – “Look within”. Thrice Great he who comprehends but, lets not get too deep and drown you in the seas of awareness before you’ve even learned how to swim. I’ve guided countless in the flesh and this is my first step into the web, hence why the concept is called willhelp.me because it will. If you let it. Check:

You are another me, together we. There is a beautifully elegant simplicity behind reality, on both sides I may add, and once you see it can’t be unseen no more than a thought can be un-thought. Once its done that vibration rings out into the cosmos and the same tone reverberates within as you, yes you, are the ultimate source of all that is right and wrong with the world. Like I said, responsibility. Its the key to set yourself free and freedom is an inside job plus the locks, whilst hard to see, are easy to perceive because we wrestle with the principalities where flesh, bone and spirituality meet. That last one also doesn’t mean what you think it means…

The end result is more fun. More laughter. More energy. More of what you want and less of what you don’t because whilst you don’t have any free will (No, really you don’t) you do have control and its this paradox that is the enigmatic power behind the throne of what you currently don’t know you don’t know. Its a game of three halves alright and best believe someone is keeping score but its not the zeros in your bank or how many follow, no. Those are mere distractions from the true gold that’s stealthily minded from your minds with each passing moment and why children lose the glow from their eyes as they march out into this world which is red in tooth and claw thanks to the ignorance of those who came before.

We’re witnessing an interesting sojourn when it comes to this reality show I call the Game of Souls. What we do collectively at this moment defines the world that is yet come and it all comes down to choice:

Action or inaction. Taking a stand or being swept along.

The journey of a thousand miles begins one step at a time. I refuse to sit back on the side and let life keep passing me by.

And with that said I place my own crown upon my head, heart and plex as the guardian of the three kingdoms within and invite you to join the conquest, crusade or simply an adventure in the flesh for that is, at its core, is all this is hence the Game of Souls.

You will remember this moment for the rest of your lives.

Till we meet again