Dopamine Detox – The Aftermath

The universe pushes you where you were already going. This is something where knowing is one thing but feeling is believing because its hard to change direction when inertia is keeping you creeping toward a scene you’d rather be leaving. Before my descent into Slavery I’d built up some nice steam with my energy in motion which was keeping me rolling uphill with very little from me beside doing what I did to great effect. This sequence I call the Path of Power and I’d been stepping on it since way back when I had my encounter with death and without relent because it was one of the main things that allowed me to regenerate coherence after the fracturing of my soul into fragments.

Much like the example of grains of rice on a board of chess things build up quickly when place consistent effort in to their maintenance and by the time you hit the twenty first consecutive event you’re well on your way to making this a new habit which sticks and thus your behavior shifts. Thing is I’d never let off since then, just keep on adding more and more things into the mix and continually progressing in my evolution of the flesh with greater refinement.

About three months ago I totally stopped all of this. Well, no. I dropped it down to the bare minimum as there were a few habits that are now pretty much engrained into my way of living that I simply couldn’t shift as I recognize the essential nature of their presence and not using them creates more problems so to be more accurate I stopped doing my energetic practices, weight lifting, exercises, Journeying, internal observation and cultivation of access to faculties beyond the standard. In short, I became a Slave and here is what changed:

I gained weight, my clarity and focus dimmed as my distractibility was pushed to the limit and my general sense of Me-ness dimmed. All of the good living habits that were part of my previous existence gave way to the “Toward pleasure, away from pain” principle which exists within all living beings as the default program. My creativity took a hit, no more random prose popping into my mind or visionary concepts where I’d consider something and think “What if?” as my mind flew beyond the edges of realm and into the land of imagination where we truly dwell. No more philosophical inclinations, astute observations or readily available grin.

It would be an understatement to say I felt miserable but I was also aware of how I was hiding this:

The screen. The screen became my all and everything. From previously using the net as as a resource I dove into as and when with a clear intent of what I needed to research or send I would roll out of bed and check what I’d missed in the land of distraction before even taking a drink of water, brushing my teeth or even stretching. Crazy isn’t it? I say that because you and I both know its a time sink but I was also aware of The Forty Five Minute Principle which says that this time period after rising is most crucial when it comes to dictating the direction the rest of your day swings because it can either signal ascent or a dip and its entirely up to you where you direct your intent.

Before the sense of discipline was self regulating because this was the most basic of basics, like crawling was to one who now sprints and wishes to break the bounds of gravity to fly without wings. It was essential. To overlook it foolish and self sabotaging.

But nope. I’d decided to see what it was like in the Valley of the Plebs so that didn’t happen. Instead my life became a series of distractions as I’d flit from one screen to the next. Put down the phone, picked up a tablet, then across to the laptop before sprawling in front of the TV set. Entire days and nights went by like this as I set off chasing those elusive dopamine hits the web provides so well to mask the nagging emptiness that a lack of progress brings.

After around nine days into this I was beginning to hate myself and wished I’d never stopped doing what I did best because I felt and looked like a mess. Gone was the passion for cooking as the human machine needs optimal food, stimulation and rest and my sleep had taken a hit that was immense because I’d go to bed but wasn’t rising refreshed. No dreamwork as well so that was eight hours solidly wasted as that time can and should be harnessed to allow your higher aspect to solve problems and share insight with your earthbound awareness so I went from doing that to lying down, tossing that way and this before eventually drifting and then getting up thinking “Ugh”. Disgusting.

About a month in I’d pretty much forgotten what it was like to dwell in a state of flow with a perpetual drive for excellence which revved my engine in the direction of peak performance. Instead it was the equivalent of standing in the rain waiting for the peasant wagon to roll round as I bought a ticket and sat on this vehicle with everyone else as it went, slowly trundling, to where I’d picked.

The thing is, I adapted. Much like water takes the shape of whatever its poured in I suddenly shifted and became the living embodiment of a ship without a captain as I floated aimlessly that way and this and by month two I was in danger of forgetting this was an experiment and not a lifestyle decision. Imagine a brow furrowed with consternation as had that progressed you wouldn’t have been reading this and it would’ve been the end of the willhelp.me gift which hadn’t yet started giving. The realization hit:

“It’s going to be June soon, you buffoon! This was supposed to be a small blip. What the heck are you doing? Snap out of this”. These thoughts popped into my head as I was lying immobile on the sofa due to some back pain I’d acquired since heading into this experiment. Actually that in and of itself is quite interesting so lets divert for a bit because you might learn something:

The body is the subconscious mind. Back pain is due to events in the past attempting to swim up to your awareness and be processed and released as they touch the surface. If you’re already juggling enough balls and are at the limit as your energy reserves are stretched thin as a paperclip and your will is about a strong as one you find your mental and physical flexibility dips because they are both two expressions of one thing. You.

Now I’d never had anything like this because ordinarily I’m as lithe and coherent as an figure skater on the rink doing his thing and the Path of Power has tools designed to allow these events to be processed due to the expansion of resources and space within. Not so much in the Valley of the Plebs as once I’d made my descent the universe ensured the moment I picked would assist in reaching my target because its easier to slip than it is to rise. So I cheated. I communicated with the pain, heard its message, thanked it for its presence as that is what motivated me to get back on track and do what I do best. Within thirty six hours I was back in effect with no more impinged movement and inkling of turning this all around to end the experiment was making its presence felt. Now came the real test.

The reluctance was immense. My anxiety levels at this point were through the roof and I was living almost entirely in my head. One of the most interesting things about this was I figured out that my previous methods were generally directed toward one end:

Dropping energy to the ground then pulling it up again. Rinse and repeat and you’ll literally bounce like a kid with an immense grin on your lips and an exceedingly vivid imagination. Without the tools, insight and application I had previously used to flourish what happens is there is no grounding. No release. Just an increase of tension which means my range of motion started shrinking real quick. Clicking hips, painful shoulders, a tight spine. It was all a literal pain in the neck. And yet I could sit staring at a screen looping through completely worthless distractions and in those moments I’d feel a respite from the pain I was in, in both the mental and physical realms. Oh yes, that was another aspect worth noting:

There was a clear divide between these two back then. Whereas now its a continuum so much like a bubble that rises from the ocean floor to surface you can chart the increase in size as the pressure relents till it pops at the surface now there was my head where I firmly lived in and then an amorphous object below I called my flesh that was slowly folding in on itself. It was horrible as I’m sure you can imagine and yet I couldn’t do a thing to shift.

I tried but the weak flesh wasn’t helping as my mind would attempt to crack the whip and it would be like “Overruled! We’re sitting here eating this, staring at the screen and you can’t do a thing”. Energy levels had dropped into the abyss. Things just weren’t working as well as they did and then I decided, “This is it. I’ve got to do something dramatic to get back into the swing of things because I’ve had enough of this”.

Cue disconnecting from the net and screens for three days and behold, witness the ascent. In those seventy two hours it was like steering a ship that was once a speed boat flying around the med with me and couple of attractive women in that had somehow turned into a rusty old freighter, laden with collective garbage and a surly crew defined by insolence as a frozen wind whipped across the stern of the ship as I fought against the icy waters that were determined to not relinquish their grip. Slowly but certainly the frost began to lift along with the transcendence of the old vessel and I once again found myself in the blue ocean as I started regaining strength and presence.

My Detox was quite immense in the sense that I fully disconnected not just from screens and entertainment but all kinds of stimulus, meaning three days spent in silence, alone, with no distractions which was quite interesting. There was no choice but to face myself and process what had happened in these three months that felt like an eternity instead as time was dragging due to my lack of coherence and the endless quest of deflecting from my inner realm. I reoriented by targets, took stock of where I sit, how I was feeling and the silent screaming from within as the limited aspect of self that was steering my vessel wanted nothing to do with this because it had been superseded by a harmonious higher Self since way back when and had no wish to ease its grip on my awareness now it had found a way back in. Food was also stripped back too to the bare minimum, served with no flavor or scent which is almost a cardinal sin for one from my lineage as its all about taste and seasonings. In a nutshell I used those three days as a way of interrupting the patterns I’d gained and the new coping mechanisms of having much more resistance within and far less coherence and fresh energy pouring in from in and beyond this realm which is the true meaning of inspiration and truly the only way to live once you’ve tasted it.

I’m glad I did it because I hadn’t taken any days off for as long as I can recollect. Once you become aware of the System and its nature you either accept it and sit in, trying to decorate the bars of the Mind Made Prison to make it more hospitable or you realize that freedom can only come from within and thus do battle with your self. Notice the little s. This is important because its a limited component and if identified with you preclude the ability to transcend the nature of this 3D realm as you are in and of it and it wishes to prevent anyone who enters from leaving until it says. The Path of Power is different because that makes you in but not of. Imagine it like this:

There are two glove puppets putting on a performance. One looks solely at the surface and sees its skin which is animated, moving that way and this as it says amusing things and thinks “This is me”. It pays no attention to the vast periods that tick when its sitting unanimated in a suitcase as it lacks the insight or wish to know its Self. The other is different. He is aware that he isn’t the puppet, no matter how seductive and present the experience he’s immersed in but instead is the hand within that directs its action. This is transcendence. This is the gift the Path of Power brings as its a simple case of realization but in order to see this one must first note they’ve been dreaming. Sleepwalking through existence because the Game of Souls on this level is such that it lures you in and then hypnotizes you into believing you are small and limited. Stop and think, no child is born believing this as they know intuitively they are limitless and it overflows from their presence to light up the awareness of whoever they’re around. And yet they too will eventually get lulled in, just like their parents before them and then their children as the Game claims yet more victims from born victors by shifting a few strings. Its very deceptive, very slick and very effective. Here’s a hint. What do you walk through when you enter a building?

Thats right an entrance. And what is usually placed on the front so you can identify what this is? Correct, a number. Now lets remove the Slaves lens from your awareness for a moment and let you see what was always present and yet rendered invisible in the land of the flesh puppets were I dwelled for a moment. Check it:

entrance | ɪnˈtrɑːns, ɛnˈtrɑːns | verb [with object] fill (someone) with wonder and delight, holding their entire attention: I was entranced by the city’s beauty | (as adjective entrancing) : an entrancing girl. • cast a spell on: Orpheus entranced the wild beasts.

What was always present can’t be seen easily when the programming language in your head is designed to hide its presence which is why I say if English is the only language you speak then you are a Slave, most certainly. Consider the other word as a deepener and extender so instead of dumb and dumber once entranced the numb get number.

Tell me that doesn’t describe your life to a T because what was once full bodied sensations of embodiment and presence filled with glee slowly but surely gave way to your awareness being adulterated with concepts that made you a stranger to your Self. I left then came back again and almost didn’t make it out again and can say I hated it whilst enjoying the distraction.

One of the craziest things about this adventure is that I simply couldn’t sit still for 5 minutes without some type of distraction. It was out of the question as my mind was so restless and skipped to anywhere but the presence due to my lack of coherence.

Its taken me around forty five to push the pen and write this script. All of my attention is focused like a laser beam upon the present moment in contrast to the dim lightbulb that was flickering due to an uneven voltage in the events previous. I’ve gained an immense amount of insight from what I did as I now know how best to guide newcomers onto the Path of Power so the real fun may begin and also learned a lot more about the human condition, the nature of the flesh, the power of habit and so many other things that will make me more effective in sharing my wisdom and this is why the motto by which I live is:

There are no accidents, only opportunities, my friend. See, I thought the same back when I danced with death because whilst a large part of me was reeling from the experience and couldn’t believe I’d been caught slipping like this another part was fascinated by the fact that I was still aware. Not just aware but super present in the sense that the minds rabid wandering from a past that may not have happened to a future you wish did was dropped in that instant because all there was was me in my truest sense, the present moment and the abyss and that was when I made the decision as I looked around and saw no body positive plus sized model warbling. How’s that for political correctness, eh? Don’t get used to it because being direct is my thing. No, I didn’t give in. Instead that became a learning experience, another moment of negotiation as I slowly but surely clawed myself back to the land of the living and stitched up what was leaking my vital fluids onto the pavement.

Second to that this latest experience was the most difficult because it showed me the nature of life once entropy has its grip firmly around your awareness as well as the immense allure of the set, screen or device connected to the net to suck you in as its filled with distractions as they wait patiently for you to amuse yourself to death. Its not fulfilling in any sense but it is the lesser of two evils because the only other choice is to look at your life and think “How did I get into this mess” and then accept all responsibility for yourself. Know why? You can’t do a thing when blaming outer events, people or institutions. Especially not as a Warrior as you know it all takes place inside your awareness ergo the only battle in life is one against your self. Notice again the small s and how it differs from the one capitalized with presence. This ties nicely in with what I previously said about individual meaning “Inwardly Divided and Dual” as it is exactly this and once you realize this then the fun begins as you can shift to becoming a victor from victim because its not how you begin but how you end and each moment is one of them. Think:

The nows that have been are what we call the past and contrary to popular belief they do flex as the events, concepts and interpretations aren’t rigid as people can easily be made to think they hugged Bugs Bunny at a Disney event which doesn’t make sense but they’d swear up and down they did and then believe they did as they manufacture the proof they’re seeking. On the other side we have the future which is based on what you do in the present so if you eat that cream cake then now then expect it to manifest as an extra inch when the next frame of the movie rolls into the sequence. Simple, yes? The underlying message is that there is only now. That is but all you possess in this realm and yet people can’t wait to give it away because the path to heaven is through hell as it involves sifting through all the garbage experiences and knowledge you collected that provide the illusion of wisdom that precludes the need to search for a solution.

But that doesn’t apply to you if you’re reading this, my friend. After all your awareness wouldn’t have picked this site for you to witness this if you hadn’t already had, on some level, an ever so slight or immense inkling that something is up with reality and it isn’t what they’re saying it is as you shuffle around the planet, an apparent carbon based life-form that is somehow gifted with an immense sentience to ponder its existence as its rushed that way and this in a world designed to be slick and keep you hemmed in to the distractions it picks in order to ensure you don’t click that there are aspects of you that are within and extend way beyond this dimension where all you witness is but a figment of your imagination.

Till we meet again