Just for a moment, the other day, I had a glimpse of a happy life. Nothing external changed. Nothing internal was the same. I felt complete, happy and whole in a way that is hard to express yet easy to feel. It felt so real that it made me consider if my current suffering was a false paradigm. When I speak of Inner Sense this is what is meant as its so direct and visceral yet also ineffable and subtle.
If I ask you to describe the difference in embodiment between now, where you’re standing, and life as a jit most would struggle with euphemisms and quips as they can’t quite put their finger on it. The best descriptions I’ve heard use words like more, direct, wholeness and coherence but even these are just poor labels pointing at a prime imperience. Many can’t see the wood for the trees and many more delude themselves but if I could flick a switch, or feed you Prousts madeleine, you’d know in an instant what I’ve said is exceedingly vivid and hyper-real. In that sense the current state of resonance feels dim, hence Adulterated. Beings in this state crave external illumination and what religion once promised the net now brings. Funny, isn’t it, how both profess connection yet silently encourage division and how there are invisible elements sitting in the middle that profit from the connection. Just something to think on as we meander along this wavelength of thinking…
I’m not you. And you’re not me. Yet and still together we’re we as the prisms above ground split our unfinite awareness into these little shreds that manifest as the Witness which sees all but so few see it. Kind of like a psychological blindspot in that sense. The most interesting thing is if I’d lived a happy life I’d never have went seeking. A Warrior once said than a man sees further through a teardrop than a telescope lens and its as true now as it was then because, in many ways, pleasure is a disease in this realm whereas suffering makes one question the paradigm to find meaning. A seeker seeks then realizes he is what is sought and then things make sense because no one thinks of losing when they’re winning but for one that comes up from the bottom then everything is a gift as you learn to appreciate the little things.
My Soul gently weeps. For so long I tried to drown in out in various ways that caused the child within more pain as I attempted to escape what I’d seen, been and experienced since stepping in the Game and being indoctrinated in the ways of the pavement by those who played the street life to win as survival was at stake. Its wild when you think that a child is like a sponge and will absorb what is around him. Wilder still when it clicked that I’d never, ever been encouraged to be anything but a criminal and that was by my parents. Yet and still it makes sense in the end because when it comes to this revolutionary thing you can’t paint the stripes on the surface and pretend because these battle scars run through and shine from the outside in as it was this formative experience as a lump of coal that now shines like a diamond.
Last year was a hard one, but life goes on. After all the slings and arrows involved in fighting a hyper dimensional war against the various forces that hold the world in thrall since before I was born I felt like giving in. I stopped running, stopped fighting, just curled up and played dead. Actually, prayed death would be more accurate as I just wanted it all to end. I’d had enough of this. It simply wasn’t worth the effort as wave upon wave of darkness crashed over my awareness and I sank down, deep down to the depths of self induced isolation and nigh on total disconnection. What else do you expect? Those that got me and knew my journey since back when were all dead. Those who were left wanted nothing more than for me to join them as I was the last remaining remanent cut from a cloth they no longer make and, to add insult to injury, my friends tried their best to make it happen. And yet, still I rise. I survived to tell the tale but fighting against them was taking its toll as there is only so much one Soul can take after being repeatedly pushed to the limit.
This is mind control, par excellence. Sleep disturbance, street theater, playing all kinds of mental tricks and the rest on top of the previous sex magic, drugs and hypnosis that wrecked my subconscious. Like I said, Warriors are born and best believe I’ve paid the cost to be the boss because I live what I talk and its all above board as I’ve seen the Game for what it is and its not a pretty pic.
This is why I was so surprised at the glimpse of a happy life I had. It was like a shift in resonance, a movement of my assemblage and the cosmic hologram reoriented itself, just for a moment, as it turned down the volume on the past, erased the fears of the future and me unwrapping the gift of the present in a way that was familiar in its newness. To say it was magnificent was an understatement. To say that I won’t stop chasing it like an addict in need of a fix is crazy and to not share the way is as outsane as I wasn’t raised to eat alone because that never tastes the same.
I’m saying that to say this:
Everything that you can do as standard equipment and take for granted is either nigh on impossible or missing from my Rolodex of imperience. On the flip what I do possess is something akin to being forged in the furnace of living hell by a dedicated team of Opponents who wish to test my mettle hence the diamond and coal thing as the former is built upon and from the constant pain and suffering of the latter who endured immense pressures over a sustained period.
“Have you seen my childhood?” is what a Warrior said as its so easy to miscomprehended when others lack the same frame of reference that makes you feel like an alien in this realm. Just visiting, never fitting in as your resonance is to a different part of the spectrum that you decode based on imperience that has nothing in common with the average kid. Back then I took to it like water is to a fish. It felt like my natural element but then that is what Inner Sense does best, it flows without limits and takes the shape of whatever it meets without question. In many ways it makes sense because you can’t see ten eighty by walking the chunky path which leads by degrees through school, job, sports, TV and whatever else the rest say is important. No, those Souls are rolling around with blinkers on, decoding mere fragments and mistaking them for the whole. I didn’t get that option. For me it was full tilt from the moment I stepped in because there were… Things I’d like to tell you but I won’t at this moment because, quite frankly, they’d be even more unbelievable compared to what I’ll reveal. If we start at the ending and work back to the beginning it makes way more sense because you don’t ask a diamond why he shines as its Self evident but if a tiny piece of coal like the rest pipes up and says “You watch, I’m going to be something so different to the rest that the world has never seen that even my own family won’t believe. Thats what I’m going to be!” its easy to shake your head and say “The proof is in the pudding“.
Well, I am that. Here, standing in front of you now sharing my wavelength and it would be an understatement to say it felt like hell but the worst part was doubling back to rescue the child within. See the Adulterated mind has the luxury of being able to forget, edit and shift what it recollects as it shoves the rest into the subconscious below the neck but Inner Sense is locked within a cage that surrounds chest which is why I said my Soul weeps gently. Hearing it was heartbreaking so I comprehend now what will be coming when I start speaking loud and clear because there will be various protective mechanisms designed to ensure the challenge to the story you tell yourself in head doesn’t make it to your chest. Not only is it personal its also socially sanctioned as we live in times of universal deception ergo telling the truth is revolutionary act.
The problem is that life as it stands as a business and there are powerful interests that profit from the suffering of this realm and they really aren’t too keen on me. Thing is you don’t know about them as they exist in the shadows of your mind and its easy to decry what I say as mere conspiracy, even though the proof is abundant. I present Exhibit A for your consideration:
Why do all children across the planet step into this realm with a palpable sense of voltage and resonance which dims, never to be found again, as they slot into a machine that was ticking before they were born and will continue (thanks to their ignorance) long after their death as it enSlaves their seeds as it did to their parents before them. Not only that but those who are chained within and without by the bonds of socially sanctioned suffering that seeks out those to blame will turn on me with heaters full flame for daring to say what I’m going to say.
You’ve got to admit, its a perfect hustle. If I was wearing a hat I’d take it off to them as they’ve thought this through on every angle as the best place to hide in inside the mind of humans as they’ll never question the narrative due to the editing of this suffering that I’ve spent quite a while examining in Self. It feels like lukewarm death that you must eat by the spoonful in order to digest the reality of the past as that is how you clear the path to the present which is a reward in and of itself, in and beyond this realm.
Not only that but the implications are immense for coming generations because this is the origin of the concept of the sins of the father being visited upon the children. If you look closely you’ll see I’ve just gave you a huge hint into why the glow of Inner Sense dims as what they inherit is the unexamined suffering that swims in their bloodstream as their ancestors imperience.
Way before there were any of these monotheistic religions which are just variations on a theme designed to foster beef among the adherents, even though they believe pretty much the same thing, there was ancestor worship as those who came before us realized the importance of and implications of what I’m speaking. In that sense not only am I standing against this world I’ve also got to take on the past in order to change the future. Thats a pretty crazy weight for the shoulders of one man but then it makes sense why things played as they did because where a coal would break into pieces the diamond shines because this is what it was meant to do.
I’m doing this for you, even though I don’t know you. The truth is I do because one who gains knowledge of Self swiftly comprehends that there is but one awareness in this realm that manifests as many ergo we interact with reflections of our inner realm. Even on an atomic level you never really touch anything as there are illusions upon illusions that are built to profit from confusion by encouraging you to invest in delusions. Trying to take that away from one drowning in the seas of ignorance as they believe they are swimming is harder than trying to snatch a pipe from a fiend because only when that dope is flowing through their veins can they claim to escape the pain they wish they didn’t feel.
It takes an immense strength to look within and tear apart the foundations of your existence by examining your inheritance, imperience and perspective as that is when you see the nature of resonance which means your awareness works much like a TV set but with the world as a reality show. This is what I call the Game and its so obvious yet many refuse to see they’re playing it as they believe what reflects upon the surface without ever looking within. I can’t blame them. I had no choice when it comes to my script as its a binary situation which ends with either me changing the world or being altered by it and I’m too far gone to allow that to happen so its get free or thrive trying.
“All you’ve got to do is bow to me and I’ll give you whatever you want in this realm” they said but the problem with temporal temptations is what you get never equates what you give but most only realize this once they attempt to find the exit and the small print says “That isn’t an option because of what you signed up for”. Ironically, even those who got nothing but the short end of the stick all their life will get the same thing but they’ll do so from a place of ignorance by being dazzled by the deception that unfolds as they draw their last breath after a lifetime of unquestioned programming.
To say I’m familiar with death would be an understatement as the force itself manifested to deliver a kiss that was almost fatal and yet, I hold on by a shred. That in itself was comforting as it shows that the forces against me can’t kill me directly as well as the hint that someone greater wants me to win. If it takes so many to suppress one then what strengths must lay within? The curious child still wonders as he wanders around the dark recesses of his mind and glows as he shines like a diamond. Problem is in a world full of coals you might as well be an alien as the rest cannot comprehend their potential and neither would they pick the choice if given an option. See why I said pleasure is a disease in this realm? Its so easy to get sucked into the narrative, even if it ain’t all sunshine and rainbows because the option is akin to being gored on the horns of a dilemma so the devil you know best wins. There is so much truth in this statement it isn’t even funny. Sad. Criminal even when you see it for what it is as you cannot help but question the nature of this realm. Thing is I’ve shed so many tears recently that its shifted my perspective in a way that I know I’m off center which isn’t the best way to address the public. And yet I must because if I don’t now it won’t happen.
You have been reading the thoughts of the realest man on the net and that is the rarest thing you’ll ever Witness as I’m all that in the flesh and the only intent I have is that none have to Witness the suffering I have so heed the wisdom of Soul that weeps the truth about this Game. Take what works, leave the rest but please, tread carefully, as you step on the fragments of my Soul that I’m busy healing.
Till we meet again
