The thought just came to me in regards to the Opponent and this Game we are playing:
“Have I taken your pieces or have you been feeding me?”.
We all like to claim victories and will often rewrite the script in our head to make it seem like something else. This is Self evident, yes? After all we have all caught our minds in the lie which is what I’m wondering as I look at the board from which I have removed some of his pieces as he has done mine. Were those actions of my doing? Did I really exert an influence or were they simply distractions? Engineered wins designed to hide the checkmate which is, at this moment, but a chrysalis and thus outside my attention.
Anyone who thinks a few moves ahead of their Opponent is pretty much ordained to win because you control the action and set the pace whilst they are reacting. How much have I done of my own doing and what percentage was I compelled? How much manipulation is going on and this very moment? We can make it as complex as we want but its basis is so simple. Black and white create the checkerboard effect and this is the binary state that powers this realm. The Chinese say Yin and Yang, the Vedic frame the dance as Shiva and Shakti. This is the same force that creates you and me as well as these words on a screen because technology is humanities baby that will grow to lead for we built it in our image and now it molds us in its.
There are layers to this. Its quite easy to get lost in the abyss, as many a schizophrenic will attest. Its why most just wander around the plain they shaved in the mid as they move around the square in predictable motions. The edges sing “Here lies danger! Beware!” and most dare not cross the line in their head that knows the secret of their fragmented Self but I am digressing…
Have I taken your pieces or have you been feeding me? Considering that I am me, a fractal echo of the Prime that pre-exists and is the true Source of all of this I know I’m quite powerful as my presence is what makes this realm possible. On the flip there is that force which created the interference pattern itself and thus who I am playing against. They have the home court advantage as they created this. “In our image shall we make them” and that means a share of the mental processes, yes? So few question this. Why would they? After all if you are thinking the words of another and mistaking them as your own its not in the best interests of the interlopers to allow this train of thought to pull out of the station, is it?
Me? I think about this stuff all the time. Even more since my brush with death as certain things were loosened and others strengthened by the experience. “What the hell is this?” I ponder as I look at this chess set that plays out inside my consciousness. Dangerous combo, if you think. Cons and chess equals consciousness, itself a huge hint because neither men nor laws rule this world but symbols – the true meanings of which are often secret to those who dwell upon the surface and move as intended.
In that sense I veered off script back when because free will doesn’t exist in this realm and I’d broke that stage of programming hence the Adjustment Bureau was sent in to play with my head and that revealed the lay of the land and other things. “Was this done on purpose?” I’m wondering as I reflect on the face of the man behind the curtain who spent my entire existence convincing me I’m him. This is who I’m playing against. We all are in that sense as there may be many of us but only one Opponent. He really is that skilled because there are 8 billion Games on in this instance and then there are so many others interweaved as well that it becomes impossible to count them as we play various side quests with our friends, enemies and acquaintances as well. Its like looking at an image and mistaking it for the real thing or being handed a label instead of an experience and then believing it. I’ve said before that if you were starving and I offered you a picture of food instead you’d think I’m either stupid or insulting because the difference is obvious. What if that was happening right now, this very moment inside your head and you had no obvious factor of comparison? How could you tell?
See, your inner child recollects that time well as it was at the helm of your consciousness when you were coherent and it ate the sweet and sour fruits of life via prime perception. Somewhere along the line you were Adulterated and this aspect fragments, stashed in various parts of your energetics as your Witness sits in a cell inside your head I call the Mind Made Prison.
These are the pieces of which I’m speaking for without my Opponent would I know them? The question is did I take them or were they fed with the implicit statement that “You are so intelligent that you took these from me against my will. You are so very powerful and playing against you is a challenge that I certainly relish well because you are oh so very special“. It bears all the hallmarks of a confidence trick, yes? The same web that all who are born into this realm will come into contact with. Many don’t care of the intent of the creature that spins this. They have no wish to uncover neither the rhyme nor reason as they are quite comfortable and accept the state of play as it is with no further questions asked or accepted. Good for them.
I have never been content to dwell on the surface since back when as I was (and still am) one of those children that took apart the TV set to see how the magic happened. “How can this screen make me laugh, make me scared, make me weep and feel so many things?” I wondered. At first I went up real close to it until the coherent picture became pixels and I noticed that there were three colors that repeated, again and again, in order to create context. “It must be viewed from a distance in order to make sense of the message” I said, pondering. The next thing that caught my attention was how attuning it could capture these channels invisible. “How on Earth does that work?” I opined and marveled at its intelligence as there must be silent signals flying through the skies with reckless abandon that it captures and displays upon the whims of one watching it. “How does it do that?” I said as I flipped the top of the VHS I’d ejected after watching.
Within I saw the brown tape that carried the patterns of the signal which had been captured and encoded via this medium. I found the resonance interesting because tapes did the same thing but their format was different and thus there was less information within.
“So, somewhere, there is a huge tape deck which beams out three channels to this television set and yet here there is a smaller kind which contains the cartoons I recorded and can play back as I wish?”. The foundations of my thinking are in this imperience. I simply had to know the rhyme behind the reason so started simple. I had a small tape deck which I disassembled quick as I sketched out the parts and their motions in my imagination. It seemed quite simple, an elegant process in which the tape rubbed against a head as the spools did their thing and made music pour out of the phones I’d placed upon my head.
Next I waited till I was home alone and did the same to the VHS. As expected it worked on the same premise with some added bells and whistles as well. For a while I felt satiated because the next challenge was immense. The TV simply weighed too much with its wood paneling for a little child to heft. I also knew, intuitionally, that my folks would not be best pleased with my experiments which is why I’d kept them quiet and secret as I knew these things were expensive.
The problem stayed on my mind for years on end as I pondered the power of these pixels to shift my awareness. I could see how the reels spin on a tape deck and created music because the vinyl we had offered hints of the process in a more low tech incarnation as I could hear the sounds therein with no speakers connected as the needle ran in the grooves and decoded the signal. “This is like that but not like this” went the flow chart inside my awareness as I sought out the answers to this questions that were most pressing that I kept returning.
At some point a new TV stand was purchased and unlike the old one which was heavy, fixed and solid this one stood on wheels to house the new VHS. No more huge buttons to press with all my strength and no more being a human remote either at my fathers behest as this updated version came with control as well. I took this moment to wedge myself against the wall and push the stand with my legs which were quivering at the force they exerted as I arrived at the promised land, behind the TV set. Quickly I scoped out the scene, the wires and where they lead as I’d been watching intently when my father moved and reseated this center of attention with his latest acquisition mentioned.
With screwdriver in hand I took off the back panel and peered in. “Woah!” escaped from my lips as this was so much more complicated and nothing like the rest. One of the things I’d found fascinating about my earlier experiments is that I could plug my headphones into the microphone socket and record what I said. “This is a neat trick!” I said, feeling proud of myself for discovering it until I extrapolated the thinking and added “Wait a minute, does that mean the TV set is also watching me watch it?“.
I cannot begin to express the immense paranoia this brings to a mind just developing as I picked up the pieces I had in my awareness and looked at them in all ways possible. I really couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being observed when watching. After all it looked like a huge eye that never blinked and I was also quite certain that there was something that shot out of mine when I looked at things as I would often stare at the back of peoples heads in school when I was bored and send thoughts at them which said “Turn around and look at me”, which they did eight times out of ten. That was mainly for my amusement and I never drew a link until I thought about the potential sentience of these electronics which held such fascination.
I’m pretty sure I got electrocuted at some point. I don’t fully recollect the experience which was said to have left me sizzling and frozen as I conducted the voltage with my flesh. Thankfully this was one of those days when someone was around otherwise my parents worked double shifts to afford the comforts I couldn’t help but examine. Needless to say that put an end to those experiments for a while but I moved on to other things and would return to electronics as I matured and time progressed. Moving beyond that it became all about reverse engineering consciousness as I realized my flesh is like that TV set that is watched as it watches, such is the nature of awareness. The signals broadcasted came from our friends, parents and fam as well as religious institutions and the schooling system. The VHS for many isn’t something they curated. For me my recordings were with precision as I noticed, back when, that just before the commercials there would be a little black and white pattern in the corner that spins to signal the coming interruption and I’d leap up to press pause and edit this presence from my personal collection.
It was almost obsessive in that respect as my videos looked immaculate due to these little edits that felt so professional. In this example the tape is your subconscious and if I say in this text to not think of a pink elephant you’ll find its quite impossible because you must let it in to negate its presence. Not knowing this is actually the root cause of so many problems as it exerts an immense influence but as time progressed and my experiences became more intense the quest for knowledge never ended as the thirst couldn’t be quenched without direct perception. My brush with death bought this and that is why today, here, now I am wondering:
Have I taken your pieces or have you been feeding me? If its the latter, as I suspect, then you’ve given me those you value less in order to keep safe the ones you protect and would rather hide from my awareness as you have another intent for them as the Game we’re playing does progress. You can only get smarter by playing a smarter Opponent. This is as true now it was then because I’m a perpetual student in that sense but what I’m learning isn’t offered by any institution but instead by life itself.
Do you see why I call this nascent glow Inner Sense and why for many its embers sit under the layers upon layers of Adulteration that were recorded haphazardly upon their own personal VHS as the TV of their flesh returns to its regularly scheduled programming and they have no clue (nor wish) to know what is beneath the surface.
Well, I do. Even more now than I did then because you could say these events were the genesis of a nemesis that stands in direct opposition to the state of play. Or maybe thats whats at stake for me in this particular incarnation as my intent since I stepped in was to get off the wheel of constant life and death hence home is where I’m hearting but I’m still wondering:
Have I taken your pieces or have you been feeding me?
Till we meet again
