It is said that most seekers of enlightenment do so after their ego has been wounded. Whether this is a universal standard or not I cannot attest but can certainly say that in my imperience the fit is perfect. Can you imagine how it feels to be left reeling after having being tipped over the brink of death that felt like it was intended to be more permanent than a visit before snapping back to your damaged flesh? Then take in the realization that those who did this were the ones you’d called friends who had actually infiltrated your social circle over decades as they worked like spies and relayed your observations whilst attempting to waylay your progress toward emancipation by encouraging the worst aspects present in your awareness via a process of hyper-normalization. I know, suddenly the plight of the schizophrenic makes way more sense and they are an important aspect of my adventure in the flesh as they knew it would happen – that I was “One of them” – before I even had the slightest inkling about the vipers den within which I lived. After this time I was full steam ahead in order to regain my resonance with the Prime, the preexisting, the all of everything that many people call different things and ascribe various attributes and locations whilst missing that which becomes Self evident to one who has tasted death and lived to tell the tale:
Its all consciousness. That means what you are seeking is within and the further you progress along the Path of Power the greater the realization that you are it and it is thee but represented in scale smaller but, fundamentally, the same deal. I know that for many this is akin to a seafarer coming to a Bedouin and attempting to describe an ocean by taking a teacup full of water and moving it around his head whilst wooshing to add sound effects in order to impress that which, once Witnessed, is Self evident. And yet, until you get there by Knowing the Ledge its the best I can do to convey what I’ve seen as I map my inner territory. Strange how we’re reaching for planets but know not whats in the ocean or the treasures hidden beneath the ice, don’t you agree? After all its reputed to be rich in all kinds of mineral things that make the best intentioned of men perform such base wickedness in the quest for dividends and yet all seem to stick to the script that said sectors are off limits as they plan movements to other spheres of influence instead. Food for thought, scrape the dish.
My ego, before said events, was immense. Puffed up with a lot of (false) self aggrandizement and wrapped in layers upon layers of coping mechs and various other things that really were quite destructive. Why was it like this? Simple to keep the wound that weeps within hidden. On some level I was aware of this quite early on in my inception which offers its own hints about reincarnation and how the fundamental awareness (This state I call the Witness) remains identical from one life to the next. This also makes one suspect that there are vested interests at play in the Game that would rather you stay and not transcend. Consider the testimony of Buddha when it came to what happened upon his quest to leave this realm as well as the various books of the dead, testimonies of those who flatlined and faced various demons – as well as those disguised as angels, friends and parents – and the curious fact of the Be Kind, Rewind effect I’ve detailed elsewhen. A part of me knew this was all inevitable and what was extended with a grin as a one way ticket to hell actually gave me the raw components needed to rebirth my Self in the quest for liberation and that, my friend, is simply heaven sent.
Enlightenment and ego wounds are simply two sides of the same coin but, much like our Fiat financial system, what they are minted from is pure consciousness and your investment therein. This is who you are, minus all of the BS that was poured into your flesh as you were trained to Thunk and programmed whilst you inherited ignorance that squashed your inherent resonance and left you thoroughly Adulterated. That was me, back then. Oddly I’d been taking parallel steps into my inner realms as I knew my life wasn’t as authentic as I wished and, even with the coping mechs, nowhere near as intense or pleasurable of what I suspected I was capable. Flicking this switch in others was fairly simple and thus many Souls swung by my drop in for resonant adjustments that made them feel quite special but doing this to me was akin to brain surgery for one. Sure, its possible as that gray matter in your head can’t feel a thing (which really is ironic, if you think about it) but its much more comfortable with a level of detachment when you do it to someone else. This is what the near death experience did gift as it killed my ego (aka (false) self) stone dead. Forget two decades of meditation and various methods of expanded consciousness. I’d found what I was seeking, in and instant, and that really made me grin. Even as my body was dying as vital fluids were leaking from my resonance. That was a bit of a problem as not only was my ego wounded but a whole load else as well. In retrospect it felt like someone swinging a huge axe through time that killed various versions of me in other incarnations and when it came to this timeline it shattered at the skin that wouldn’t give in and now suspends the rest of this natural phenomenon on the thinnest sliver of energetics in resonance with the all of everything aka Psylense.
Still, it was all very interesting because it opened up a door to a world I suspected existed since my inception and had been quietly seeking in both private and public ways as I made many people examine their ways of doing things in order to draw new conclusions that they’d then share to my face. In that respect its akin to giving the Bedouin a ticket to the ocean. Many would refuse as they remember the lunatics of a madman waving a teacup round his head and saying “Pretend all of this sand is water instead”. Less than one out of ten is capable of taking this trip and those who did came back, nodded their heads and said “Yeah, I get it”. A curious thing about all of this was how few were willing to continue mapping the spiral. Its like the Game of Souls on the current wavelength had more than enough attractions and when they’d fixed their problem of an addiction, shyness or depression they were quite content to get back on with the business of living without a hint of curiosity about what it could all mean for if they are obviously ran by Patterns tucked away in their subconscious that melt when bought to awareness as I reprogrammed their internal OS then there are more questions than answers that simply must be investigated. It was around this phase of my life when all of the theatrical deception kicked in as I realized my greatest coping mech was helping others when, in reality, it was me that was in need of assistance. That child within, the state I call Inner Sense, had been screaming in Psylense but the noiZ in my head prevented the realization that I was truly dealing with aspects of me projected out as thee and thus the prophylactic healings I’d deal were actually keeping me tied to the wheel of suffering.
Post NDE there was no chance of BSing as that old footprints poem kicked in and I looked at the most difficult parts of my life and noticed the immense size difference between the treads as my inner child said “It was then I carried you, my friend”. Exactly as he was doing again at the moment when I was tipped into the abyss thanks to a conspiratorial mix of drugs, sex magick and hypnosis. I took in the scene. This boy was fearless. Not only that but he was really, really strong as he shouldered not only my currently Adulterated form but all of the burdens and baggage that came from living the life unexamined as well as the suffering I’d inherited from my ancestors which truly was quite immense. Granted, I’d done a bit at chipping away at my own ignorance during the decades I’d spent in the flesh, up until that moment, as I was no stranger to my inner realms but this meeting was far more intimate and the boy was over the moon to finally be free to communicate with no one in the middle intercepting his message. You know the third thing he said? “Lets play!”. So we did.
What do you do when the worst thing that could happen, did? To many this would be a fate worse than death as they cling to their illusions and induced concepts via the narrative in their heads as them but I knew, back when, that I was none of this. Way before the Path of Power had even crystalized as a concept in my head I knew that voice that was speaking wasn’t me. “How could it be?” I reasoned “When I’m obviously that which is listening?”. I tried sharing this wisdom on the playground with a friend. He listened and said “You’re really quite weird, you know this yes?” as he ran off in the other direction. Later I’d come to realize the true nature of the Opponent and how it keeps most dancing on its strings and needed to ensure this realization never entered the dome of his Victim ergo my presence was a threat to the Game that needs your total immersion in order to foist its illusions. In retrospect this made obvious what came next because it was akin to being dumped in the ocean without knowing how to swim. No armbands, no stabilizers and, worse still, the so called life guard is actually the one who threw you in as he sent your parents in another direction. For some their lives trajectory and events will now start to make way more sense because there are forces beyond (and paradoxically, within) your current comprehension that have their vested interests in remaining invisible as they convince you you’re them. Thats the ego aka (false) self of which I was speaking.
All of my friends, I can’t call them clients as it was strictly informal at the drop in, were vaguely aware of this but many didn’t care about the process as long as they got the results they wanted. To me this level of willful ignorance was most curious but it was only after the near death experience that I clicked the true nature of silk smooth coping mech that kept me looking at them instead of daring to take it to the depths of the traumas that I’d felt under whose strain the young boy was laboring. Worse than that I just kept piling on the tension. Thats the true cause of what you call “aging” where a baby is born, bouncing and radiant, and dies stooped over and rigid. This is all the proof you need of Adulteration as there are (or were) certain tribes that live disconnected from our social sickness and don’t invest in the one to twelve concept that has you celebrating remaining stuck to the planet for another orbit along with other stupid things that exist solely to fill the holes within your fractured awareness. They die as they live:
Vibrant and energetic. Their social structures are wildly different to what we class as the progress of civilization and one of the most interesting things is their excellent bone development and general lack of tension. This way of living was once the norm on this very planet and it was documented that when those fork tongued white men bearing gifts of Smallpox laced blankets landed on the Native Americans that they were alternately puzzled and amused by their childlike ways and sensitive presence that could hear a pin drop all the way across a building and knew when the rains were coming. “The Great Spirit is upset” they said before the clouds opened as those who killed them and then handed them the gift of alcoholism in lieu of their forefathers quest for another interpretation of the same spell scoffed at their primitive ways. And yet, they were correct. Modern man calls this the Gaia Hypothesis and yet more ancient traditions take this to a whole nother level and, as I discovered, their thoughts are entirely correct. I mean, what else do you expect? Consciousness is everything ergo all is living and death is the great illusion. Building upon the Bedouins teacup ocean one of the most amazing things I Witnessed as I was zipping through the levels of incarnation was what I’ve termed the Snowman Illusion and it goes a little something like this:
Once upon a when there was a huge undifferentiated cloud of sentience. It floated high, high above this realm and took it all in whilst being disconnected as well. It exists in a state of perfect balance and when these scales were tipped by rising currents of influence from the depths its charge started releasing and the rains were falling. Those who were, a moment ago, at one with the all of everything felt themselves tumbling with immense exhilaration as their nascent individuation took it all in. Of course when something happens for the first time we really have no clue or cue about what to say so loads of them would later term this sensation as “Afraid” as they lodged the formative imperience in their mental Rolodex that they’ll bury in their subconscious and pretend doesn’t exist (even though it runs everything). With a bang they hit the deck as the rains start pooling. The liquid sentience is rejoicing at this familiar newness as they mingle with the rest in a way that is most suggestive of the place they just left but also quite different as they now have a nascent sense of Self. Something that was waiting in the wings starts slowly freezing this ocean and moving said chunks of lowered density vibration onto a conveyor belt of miseducation which shapes them into snowmen to limit their once free flowing perceptions and thinking.
Thats when the Game begins and, sadly, for many ends as they are now entirely convinced they are that solid chunk of limitation that Thunks where it once thought instead and now accepts the suggestions poured into its head that “To melt equals death” and thus they grip to their (false) self and all it says as a shiny light of guidance in engineered abyss darkness that passes for their inner realms as they now dwell, solely, on the surface. Numbed, dumbed down and frozen.
Now, imagine a localized nuclear explosion were to hit one of those snowmen that the System felt was particularly problematic as it kept asking all types of questions from those that were around it. One moment it was there and the next, it vanished. Then, slowly but surely, it resurrected. At first there was a cloud in the shape of the snowman as a force of habit and then he comprehended the nature of the cloud that was calling and the sun that was shining to increase his wavelength. He had to make a decision. Does he leave and return to the all of everything which is his hearts fondest wish or should he chose to coalesce again and make the cloud more solid as the tears of unexpressed pain stream down the cheeks of the child within and now simultaneously manifest upon the flesh of the one who is now stuck in the mid, between two realms, so that he too can form the shell that previously encapsulated his personal hell. But this time, without the Adulteration.
The fact you’re reading this should tell you the option I picked and, unlike the Bedouin, I can’t really hand you a ticket to higher perception yet as this was the gift of the diamond I compressed from the hot coal they threw in my direction as they planned to bring my life to an end and yet, paradoxically, made me recollect that I’m immortal.
Enlightenment and ego wounds. Would anyone choose my life on purpose, if they could? I mean going in blind and ignorant of what could happen as they were forced to face their own demons in order to help not just themselves but the collective who currently mill around, totally frozen, with a faulty OS in their heads that makes them entirely miserable but generates immense profits for the System that knows the truth of this but purposely keeps its hidden from the Souls currently trapped in this Game that takes their Inner Sense and Adulterates it as it feeds them layers upon layers of BS then smiles at the conflicts that rage on the planet and within as Souls that came here with a mission are waylaid instead into wanton destruction as they amuse themselves to death. I don’t think they would, really. I also strongly suspect that many who have been forced to tread on the Path I did end up as schizophrenics, murderers or addicts and, once again, these three surrounded me during my development and nurtured my Inner Sense as they obviously felt a sense of resonance and knew it must be protected lest I end up as damaged as them. Or, as one said, back when:
“You are the one who will change everything. Either you will be very wicked or very pure. I can’t call it but I can feel it”.
I nodded my head and ran back off to the swings as I tried my best to make it spin in a full circle for the thrill of pushing the limits is something that is inherent in all children. Till its conditioned out of them and they are resigned to digging the same Reality Tunnel as their parents who are usually miserable but dare not admit the tricks of a corrupt System which treats them much like a pimp does to his women as he profits from their labors and often creates the problems needed to ensure they keep Thunking he’s indispensable. But, thats another topic from later in my development as I had some really cool friends that lived in the shadows depth and were well versed in the art of the pavement from whence came my true education. For now, ask your Self:
Has anything of what I mentioned caused a spark of remembrance in the long dimmed embers of Inner Sense that dwell in your chest or is the voice of Adulteration in your head discounting these ramblings as one who is obviously off his meds and severely emotionally damaged? The fact you’re still reading this stands as testament to your potential for awakening as many of the 81% – the Slaves who are totally plugged in and very well conditioned to accept the life of a snowman as they fear his inevitable death – will have clicked off some place else at the behest of its suggestions long before coming to this sentence.
The Game of Souls has you, my friend.
Till we meet again
