There is a moment, a specific region of vibration, that sits between mundane and higher consciousness that I can only describe as being crucified on a cross made of flesh. No blasphemy intended as I’m simply saying what I feel because its akin to a rigid band of tension that extends across my shoulders. This is the first place I spotted it, the proverbial pain in the neck but the expanded edition. The directors cut, if you will, and it contains all of the scenes that were trimmed from the version I watched inside my head during regular states of embodiment. Oh, it was there. That is for darn certain, but I’d nurtured a lifetime investment in various protective mechs and things I dare not examine that ensured this Path was left untread.
Imagine a bar made of molten steel that can, paradoxically, be rigid and also flex and you’ll have a pretty clear image of the top part of the crucifix that rests across my shoulders. Easing into the awareness of this intrusive presence was exceedingly uncomfortable and many times I actively ran away from it until it clicked that what you resist persists and you can’t change anything until you accept what is. Whether or not you like it. That felt like the nails that were hammered into my hands being ripped from the same construction. The sense of freedom where there was once limits was so intoxicating that I almost forgot I was crucified as I reveled in the imperience until I came back to my default mode of embodiment.
I noticed my movements were nowhere near as smooth, at ease or free. The rigidity my head pretended didn’t exist was mirrored, perfectly in my flesh. Shifting my brainwaves again I started mapping the rest and found there was a similar intrusion in my spinal column. The level of penetration here varied as some places were hooked in at such depth that it was excruciating to breathe around them and my mind rebelled at even going near them until I learned to transcend via Self identification with the Witness and the state of Centering this begets.
This middle pillar was so tense that its tendrils spread out and seemed to wrap around my internal organs and hold them in a similar grip that would never relent until seen. Well, feelsee, to be more accurate as its unified state of awareness that exists solely in the present moment. Its nature was that of consuming, like my life force was slowly but surely being drained by this presence that was entirely invisible and yet created effects that were most palpable. Case in point, if I studied my form throwing a boxing combination in my regular state of awareness when dangling from the cross many don’t suspect exists with a higher state of consciousness then its a case of the difference between sack cloth and silk. There was no internal resistance so the outside was fluid. Not an ounce of energy or effort was wasted. “I don’t hit, it hits all by itself” said one who was evidently well versed in the ways of the ocean. Be water, my friend.
No wonder pugilists have two identities, eh? Sugar Ray once said he can tell who’s going to win before a competition depending on the version of him that stares back in the reflection… More to heaven and earth, my friend. Surely you’ve wondered why blue and red run the world but how many miss the gold they’re both hiding as they make you run the treadmill in a quest for completion that can never, ever deliver on its promise as its built on deception.
Feel what I’ve said in your Soul and you may just transcend, my friend, as we head down to my feet which were a different thing because the effects were more elusive and yet also all pervasive that was mainly made manifest by the range of motion and reflex in my hips, knees and ankles. The nails in my feet seemed to have an emphasis on the left foot as their focus and once I kicked these off the top of the cross became even more obvious as well as the huge nature of disconnection that manifested not only at my neck but also hips as well. Waist got, waste lots, yes? Its all spells. All of it and from them spring the rituals of crucifixion of which I’m speaking as regular life pokes and prods at you to torment and, every now and then your parched lips are hit with a tiny source of nourishment in order to prolong your punishment.
Not as a literary statement or creative mode of expression, I’m actually telling you how it feels for me to live inside this as I wonder what the hell else is going on inside my mindbody of which I’m entirely ignorant because deconstructing the cross needs one to question how they ended up in this position and moonwalking isn’t on any official curriculum therefore people keep on pushing the boulder of suffering up the hill only to watch it roll back down again as they give it another spin. This is the Game, at the present moment, for many. Or at least that is how it seems to me or I may be projecting this personalized crucifixion that doesn’t actually exist in most others strolling around the planet and thus this is a personal predicament of what is possible. Whether it is or it isn’t is very interesting but I can only play the hand I was dealt to win because to me the evidence is overwhelming that this is the standard mode of operation for many. Why else do babies bounce and flex as they pour natural energetics into this realm whilst the same that leapt from the cradle when visited before they met the grave were hunched over and filled with immense tensions from carrying the cross of ignorance as they crucified their divine potential and awareness within by choosing to remain ignorant and invest in concepts that demand their compliance and total obedience to energies and things outside of them which ensures a populace totally divorced from the concept of gnosis that was, once upon a when, the internal operating systems of humans just like them that played this Game on a higher level due to their aligned resonance with their Souls.
I’m quite a flexible person, in both mind and flesh, so it came as a bit of surprise to me that all those years of stretching on yoga mat and the like had done very, very little to even make me aware of this cross. “Why is that?” I hear you wondering. Well, I suspect that its because these practices are nerfed on purpose and dare not delve beneath the surface. That and modern life reinforces the cross because when you’re spending most of it sitting in a chair its easy to misinterpret it presence and almost totally gloss over the impingements you write off as “aging”. The latter point is so ridiculous when truly comprehended and would be far more accurately seen as the gathering of resistance until its simply too much for the voltage to persist in illuminating your consciousness. We call that death in this realm but that state I call the Witness – who you are, at your most basic – is never born and thus cannot end hence unfinite says it best. This is He, the awareness on the cross that paid the cost to be the boss and it resides inside your head. Not for nothing did the coded message of the gospel state that he was crucified on a hill that was named “Skull” in Hebrew with thieves on either side of him that are repped by the hemispheres in your head that crucify your higher consciousness by creating a Pane Body which hides your suffering and thus ensures you believe you are human as per the story in your head and countless other suggestions designed to explain away the fact that life started out feeling like one thing and somehow, somewhen, became quite different.
What do you think? Do you even? If you did then congratulations – We is risen! Freed of the ignorance that binds the minds of Slaves from one life to the next as we question the intent that sits at the helm and thus comprehend that this entire realm takes place inside our consciousness ergo, without us, nothing exists. I strongly believe that this Pane Body crucifix exists within the depths of each and every one of our mindbodies, hid. Consider the example of the reluctant meditator which highlights it quite well as its the main reason why people act up then reflect and regret as its an obstacle to optimal embodiment. In that respect the extended meta of Christ being our consciousness makes a lot of sense, yes? If you think its a stretch consider the events around thirty three and how they link with your spinal column and see if it clicks as, to me, the connection is obvious now that I Know the Ledge and have awakened the Warrior within.
For the head, this may be a trip. Phi the heart? Just another day at the office as it extends its coherence via a connection with the Prime, the pre-existing one who is the all of everything manifest as me, in the flesh, at each moment for we comprehend we aren’t the candle but the flame, eternal and this brings resurrection as ignorance falls by the wayside, all weapons rendered impotent as Inner Sense steps in instead of the Adulteration to which one was accustomed that manifested as the pain in the neck which created the limits most dare not admit have a grip on their consciousness. I say all that to say this:
We are risen.
Till we meet again
