The human condition is one that is amazing as it is ridiculous. The one fact most skip (but becomes Self evident once you do the Knowledge) is that the past is always present. Not only is this the case but most people are living in it. From the high powered exec thats all “Buy, buy, sell!” who desperately craves the attention and validation he didn’t get as a kid up to the Mother Teresa effect where ones actually a hells angel with a slick marketing campaign. This type of deception is so rife because nowhere in this realm are there any tools to tell you how to un-F your life. On the flip we have countless ways that are exploited and implemented to create more of a mess (that the next generation inherit and then compound it) as well as countless distractions like pills, potions and the self help fix. All of these things are useless because none of them address the root cause of the problem:
We are a calloused species, in terms of our consciousness, and these formative impacts across incarnations leave their dents and Patterns that we then keep on repeating. See why I said Knowledge of Self is so essential and why 81% of the planet lives on autopilot instead as they prefer their ignorance because that allows them to affix blame whilst ignoring the root cause of the problem. Who is the only constant in every aspect of your life? You. Who cannot silence their mind for ten minutes and doesn’t have a clue of what means to be neutral? You. Who is walking around with a mask slapped on their dish that doesn’t entirely accurate represent their inner realms but they fear rejection and so slide into a role instead? You. Deal with you and the outer world shifts.
There are, however, immense amounts of resistance when it comes to this because the (false) self springs up in childhood as the tracks are laid for the Adulterated presence. “Sit up straight, look ahead. Speak when you’re spoken to” and all the rest of the mess. You may not have listened to your parents but you heard everything and the saddest part is we often imitate the worst aspects whilst suppressing the best of ourselves within. Can you imagine the frustration this brings? Can you see why its suppressed? I call the way to Self Knowledge the Path of Power because that is what takes to step and also brings to them who manage to go the distance. Quite a paradox, yes? Welcome to the non-dual perspective because between these opposites is the gift of the present moment that most keep wrapped up and buried in their chests.
Once upon a when I was talking to someone who generally moaned each time we met. There was a huge amount of discontentment to his presence and thus he was always fault finding or complaining about that or this. One fine ray he steps in as I’m talking to someone else about their happiness level and flipped the convo to him. “Me? I’m great. Smashing. Real positive. The glass is half full. Thats me, innit?”. I wondered who he was trying to convince, me or himself. I asked:
“Listen, for the past ten times we’ve met all you’ve lead with is how bad the weather is, these darn young hooligans, the teenage parents and why life is so bad around the ends. I”m wondering when you’re happy and positive?”.
What was interesting was there was a tiny blip, a small glimpse, of what he kept hidden beneath the mask and what made him feel like this. That was rapidly suppressed as he reeled off some examples of the time he helped an old lady across the street and got someones cat out of a tree and all of this. After he left the original person turned and said “That dude is miserable. Worse still he cannot see it. Is this what you meant about the (false) self? Its terrible”. See, there was a common theme in his conversational topics and they generally centered around the fact that we lived in a place where babies had babies hence grandmothers at thirty was common. His wife was infertile and he really wanted to be a parent. She’d never told him when they got hitched and they’d spent countless cheques chasing that and this before she admitted it. None of this emotion was ever faced or handled. As a matter of fact it was never discussed again and they presented the image of marital bliss.
One of the things I found most interesting was that this was his second marriage and the first one ended because his wife refused to get pregnant so, realistically, what were the odds of him recreating the same energetics with another girl he picked? This is I why I say life is scripted and the playas are just slotted in from whoever is a appropriate at the moment. That can be a bitter pill to swallow for many but its also quite liberating. Tracing back his steps it turned out this his mother had often said “I wish you were never born, you are the worst thing that ever happened” as she wasn’t the most emotionally stable parent. These Patterns were etched in his mind and whilst he desperately wanted to right the wrongs within he was attempting to achieve this via having a child and molding them in his own image. Do you realize how common this is? Everybody does it. Granted, its often not as dramatic or literal as an example but the outline is identical.
When I asked him about this during one of our conversations he said “Well, I can’t blame her. She was young when she got pregnant. There was a scandal in the village and thats why she left and we went to live in London instead”. At no point could he draw the correlation between his rage within upon seeing these hoodrats with kids living it up on social security cheques with reckless abandon as they dropped litter after litter to keep the dough rolling in. Neither could he grasp his intense emotions and resentment to the woman who used him like a son-husband in order to fill her emotional deficits whilst simultaneously being something to rile against. He’d never really had any kind of childhood nurturing in that sense because his mother demanded to be the center of everything and thus he’d been emotionally care taking since the moment he stepped in. This, actually, is a hint of a larger and more karmic connection but lets keep it to one lifetime for this example.
Countless talks, pointers and guidance. I eventually realized it simply wasn’t happening and thats when I discovered how the Pane Body manifests in some people as it walls off their chest and chooses here to suppress all of their hidden emotions. “Of course!” I said, considering the example. It made perfect sense now so I asked him how flexible he was around his shoulders and neck. He complained they were a wreck and laced with dysfunction. “Probably due to my job. Or the way I slept. It comes and goes so it could be due to stress”. Wishing to test an imperiment I asked him if he had a chair he could lean back in and feel suspended as he raised his chest to the ceiling and let his arms lift. He did. I asked him to try it. What happened next was quite telling.
“How did it feel?”. “Huh? What? Oh, the chair thing. I haven’t got round to doing it yet. But I will. Promise”. This went on for a while and to this ray I don’t think he did but it offered me immense hints into the nature of the (false) self protective mechs that actually run the show from within and the nature of Patterns. It did make me think how we are little more than meat puppets that are driven by impulses we do not truly comprehend due to the artificial nature of the lives we’re living and near total ignorance of our inner realms. Someone else I asked to try the same thing came back and said:
“Well. I did it”. “What happened?”. I knew this one would be interesting because this girl was quite different in her repressions and also had a strained relationship with her parent that she was determined to fix because in their home it was “Its up to you to learn how to deal with what I’ve said because I’m not changing“. She’d had enough of the conflict and yet felt beholden by invisible strings. I also knew she was super determined and not a stranger to her inner realms as she constantly self medicated with cannabis, heavy disassociates and some empathogens. “Well, at first nothing happened. I actually felt a bit stupid and kept wondering what she’d say if she came in so I stopped. Then I felt even worse for giving in and rationalized that if I waited till she went to bed then I’d have the house to myself so I tried again later that evening. Initially nothing happened apart from an increasing sense of discomfort but I did like you said and worked my way up to nine minutes until I was comfortable. At one point it felt like something cracked and broke within. I really thought I’d damaged myself as I snapped to attention and didn’t even click that there were silent tears steaming down my face until I was wondering why my clothes were so wet. It made no sense. Super weird but also it felt needed”.
This gave her encouragement and she redoubled her efforts and was reporting shifts in her dreams and random recollections of things from back when that she barely remembered before breathing and were now super vivid. She mentioned spontaneous movements and soon was heaving and crying as the decades of repression that lived beneath her neck came roaring to the surface. “I no longer care what she thinks” she said when detailing a moment where her mother came rushing at the sounds of her anguish as she sat there and wept. “I told her about the memories I felt, the sensations, the suppression and the rest. I mean really let her have it. It was super intense but I felt… I felt… Righteous. Yes, thats it. Righteous“. She nodded and continued “It was really strange because she actually listened. She knew the events I was speaking of with crystal clear recollection and actually said she regretted her actions the moment she’d done them but felt like she was on autopilot”.
Granted, they were still pretty enmeshed but it was a level of progress that was quite commendable compared to the man with the mask that started this passage as he had the key to unlock his chest but his protective mechs would not even allow the attempt. Why? Because his entire world would end as it meant ripping out the foundations of what he’d spent a lifetime investing in. This is when it clicked that only 8% of the populace are genuine capable of making the change and those are usually at the extreme end of the scale or those who have tried everything else and are now open to suggestions. The last part is amusing because a lot of people who came my way during the rays of the drop in were exactly this and were often at their wits end and thats what birthed the maxim that one must be willing to lose their mind to come to their senses. The former is the cell that Adulteration builds in their head whereas the latter are the currents of Inner Sense being damned by the Pane Body to prevent their gnosis and vent. In between this to deny all of this we meet the egoic false self and the many masks it whips up and on for the situation at hand.
These were the early rays of research and experimentation into all of this. I’m truly grateful for not only those who listened and attempted but those who ignored and didn’t as both offered immense feedback that allowed me to generate the sketch that feels quite accurate about why the world is a mess and the true nature of the solution. Its also obvious that most simply refuse to be unplugged from the System and the nature of this dysfunctional relationship. Actually, I just remembered the tale of the African neurosurgeon who struck up a conversation and then went and took what I said to his preacher who then commanded him to never speak to me again. So he didn’t. This is what I mean when I say this extends way beyond just one man and yet how the same is also the solution because once you start shifting and stop digging that old familiar Reality Tunnel there are those around who will attempt to get you back on track so they can feel comfortable that you are as miserable as then in an equally predictable existence.
From a personal lens my Journey of Self development cost me not only my career, business, investment and friends but the few remaining family members I had as well because they simply couldn’t comprehend my intense desire to exorcise these demons it seemed we’d all collectively inherited from previous generations and yet I was the only one speaking on them and attempting to eradicate my ignorance and coping mechanisms. Turns out I was incorrect as they were all, literally and metaphysically, in cahoots to prevent this gnosis hence the constant attempts to distract or send me some place else than within the depths of my awareness as each time I’d come back with an uncut gem which they’d then, with their coven, attempt to forge into a weapon of misdirection. They say you don’t choose your parents but it certainly appeared that some force did and that offers immense hints about whats at the helm of this realm and Game we’re playing using our Souls as credits…
I offer that as a warning because the Game is sentient and the last thing it wants, it seems, is for you to become awake in the dream as it will dispatch its Agents via their various deals and schemes to lure you back in to the lowest possible state of resonance as that misery is its currency as its the glue that binds reality. Well, that I reject and it certainly seemed it was intended because the gift of Inner Sense is a life far more content and vivid than the standard factory option of amusing yourself to death whilst running the psychosocial treadmill. Many are called but only a few choose themselves. Are you one of the 8% capable of awakening the Warrior within?
Till we meet again
