“Your point of view is really depressing. And to think, you appear so cheerful and motivating as well” she said with a look of perturbation. Sometimes the strangest thing about Self realization is it makes you feel more alone in company than you do on your own. This was the comment which sparked the above statement at the end of our conversation. Lets rewind a little bit:
“Can we pretend, for a moment, that you dared acknowledge the hole in your Soul?”.
“What the hell does that mean?” ejected from her lips as she visibly bristled at the implication.
“Whatever you wish. For example, just open your mouth and let the words spill, backwards, from your current state to what caused it upon hearing what I said”.
“Erm, OK. This guy is nuts, danger, danger, keep your distance. There is nothing wrong with my Soul. I am a happy and content person that has a lot to live for. Thats about it really”.
“But are you, really? You know how they say the truth comes out when you sip, yes? Can you remember the mindset you possessed after you’d downed a whole bottle by your Self and were lying, curled up, in the fetal position with a sad playlist repeating?”.
“Thats different. I was drunk and so what if I got a little emotional? It had been a rough patch and I’d been burying my head in work to not deal with it. Besides, after that I was right as rain so what does that have to do with anything?”.
Some of you reading may have noticed this schism of division and the inability to connect the separate pieces of her awareness into a coherent narrative beyond what she allowed herself to process in the moment from a string of fragments. Don’t ridicule from a distance because you are probably doing the same thing as this compartmentalization is one of the best coping mechs and its why alcohol is touted as a solution as it causes an instant hit to uplift before dampening the CNS and this causes a temporary realignment to the present moment which brings you face to faceless with the shadow aspect and its many repressions. Its why there are mean drunks and happy ones as well as that favorite myth of “I blacked out and can’t remember what happened”. See, once you’ve dealt with these demons and exorcised them from your Self it can become a bit bothersome dealing with others who deny their existence and, worse still, will fight to their last breath in order to protect them as they hide a truth they dare not admit. Thats the hole in your Soul that I mentioned because, in the absolute sense, this is impossible but the extended metaphor is that of a bucket of consciousness that was once filled to the brim with illumination that was topped up every day by a process as mysterious as it was natural. At first it was a slight drip and most people didn’t even notice the change in resonance but, eventually, this increases to the point where what comes in swiftly hits the pavement and you’re left with a couple of drips that moisten the rim. If you’re rich you can buy the best waters, mineral, and have them pumped in to offset the leaking but no one dares address the true root of the problem.
I expressed the above in conversation and she said:
“Your point of view is really depressing. And to think, you appear so cheerful and motivating as well” which signaled that my point had sailed clean over head when its intent was aimed at her chest and thus there was no point furthering the conversation as she wasn’t capable of decoding my wavelength. Who knows, maybe she truly wasn’t that broken and I’m just projecting all of my internal mess onto those I met due to a lack of introspection and Self awareness. Probably not but I have reality tested hence the 81/11/8 percent thing as that equation sums up life pretty well. Get in where you fit in, I guess. Lets speak about the hole in your Soul:
You should know well, by now, the difference between Adulteration and Inner Sense but if you’re just tuning in the nutshell is that we are born one way – a state I call Centered in Self that begets immense confidence and makes one very curious – and end up another. Why is this? Its due to the System, your parents, friends, television and anything else you can mention as they all have one intent:
To divorce you from your inner realm and make you emotionally deadened to the true depths of your suffering. Man, even typing this made me realize why she felt it was so depressive because when you’ve spent your entire life plugged in to the Matrix and just randomly met a man with a quick grin and air of impishness who drops heavy metaphysics on your ass that totally spins your frame of reference then that reaction is to be expected. Especially if you’re the kind that has never independently pondered these things because you live like a swan that appears to glide around the rim of socially mediated adulation whilst being totally unaware of what flaps, frantically, beneath the surface.
Often, when I speak, I talk to a persons energetics and not the projection. Those who know me well or, at the least, were warned by others of what to expect, got used to this real quick and found it super addictive as they felt life streams of energetics they’d usually suppress unfold in my presence. At the moment I’m a stranger in a strange land and thus there are other factors to be accounted along with the fact that sometimes I’m as delicate as a brain surgeon whilst others I let it rip with both barrels. Its a horses for courses thing and this filly just happened to catch me a on day I rolled out the different end of the bed. By the way, are you donkey or a noble steed? Self image, when based in reality, is quite an important thing and, sadly, most women these days are too busy trying to keep up with who they programmed without realizing they’re miserable and this leads us back to the hole in your Soul, dig:
Imagine you have spent your entire life knowing, fine well, that there is a splinter in your awareness. You, being of above average intelligence, decide to reality test because if another can itch your back in the part you can’t hit then you can repay the favor to them and create a massaged bliss. So you ask them:
“Do you ever get the feeling something is really, really wrong with this realm?“.
Some people will quickly nod their heads, even as school kids, as they wave their hand and said:
“Yes, man, look at this mess. What the F? I want to paint and draw, not read, write and arithmetic. None of this crap really helps and its all super boring. I hate it. Wait a minute, is that what you meant?”.
Others would shake their head and attest that life was perfect as they derived immense satisfaction from the standardized test and the adulation of their parents for their performance in conforming to the whims of the System. There is a third type that I spotted, even back then, and they knew the Game was rigged but couldn’t be bothered with the static and put in just as much work as was needed without ever drawing too much attention to themselves. The middle management mindset, yes? Where they are swiftly promoted above the rest because the one above sees no threat to their position because they know their minion will do exactly as instructed with no extra ideas thrown in or wish to outshine them.
All of this is very common, yes? Nothing groundbreaking or new mentioned as I’m fairly certain we all noticed this trend. Well, most grow out of childish things like wondering “What if?“, being creative and asking anyone, anything just because they felt curious and wanted answers. This, my friend, is Inner Sense in a nutshell and why I’ve said that awakening the Warrior within feels like a familiar newness ascends over your default mode awareness that is shed like a dead skin that used to previously dampen your emotions in a state of constriction I call the (false) self. In that respect life becomes a lot more vivid but that means you see the sun shine with a brilliant illumination but the new moon nights are dark as sin as your genetic memory extends across your lineage to all the lives lived, unexamined, that exert their influence via what courses in your veins. Bit metaphysic, for certain, but quite accurate to my sketch and this, once again, was something I reality tested. Actually, lets take a diversion. You know how I get with these tangents so, strap in:
You may have an ancestor, back when, that had a certain quirk or glitch in the way he liked to be fed. You may have never noticed it because you did as standard from stepping in and your parents never mentioned it. Lets say you go for a trip to meet some extended family you never met and they great you with open arms and a spread that looks delicious. You tuck in and there is an old lady, sitting, that looks wistful as she says:
“Where did you learn this?”.
You look around, perplexed, and question:
“What?”. She gestures at your dish that was filled and placed upon the table and, before tucking in, you rotated it to a specific direction and commenced eating from an angle. You reply that its nothing special and it just feels correct which is why you do it without thinking. She says:
“Growing up I was the eldest of six kids. Families were bigger then and even though I’m getting on a bit I can still say I’m surprised by what I’ve Witnessed”. She gets up from the table and goes over to a shelf and pulls off an old pic that she draws to your attention. With a shaky hand she points at a little kid with an unruly mop on his head and a charming grin then says:
“That was my youngest brother. Sadly he perished not long after we’d taken this picture as he was consumed by a sickness. Medication couldn’t help and the life was sucked out of him. Oh, how we missed him and wept. The strangest thing is you though because even though this is the first time we’ve met due to the immense distance between where you live and your ancestral village he used to do exactly the same thing because we used to tease him and I, especially, would place his plate at an odd angle before ruffling his hair just to annoy him as I knew he’d correct it before eating a thing”.
As they talked they discovered a lot more as the past and present linked over deep conversations that were exceedingly suggestive of reincarnation or, at the very least, some type of genetic memory that gets passed through generations. Did you know that rats trained to run a maze develop children that can, sight unseen, beat the kids of other parents that hadn’t had the experience? Isn’t that interesting? There is more to the Game of Souls than dreamt of in your sciences and religions, my friend. Back to the topic:
The hole in your Soul is something one needs to acknowledge for any true healing to being. In reality its a coping mech because the immaterial, pure consciousness you are exists solely in the moment hence the present is a gift that is worth unwrapping. Problem is Adulteration and its false resonance draped it in a cloth layered with dangerous symbols and cruel intent that makes you keep your distance. Thats what one must overcome and you can probably comprehend why less than one out of ten I’d met actually possessed the will or strength to even make the attempt. Many, like the girl in question, would eventually get it because, quite often, I’d noticed that it may seem like I was sprinkling the seeds of roses on the pavement of their awareness there was something within that readily accepted this nourishment as it allowed the thorns they’d long suppressed a way to manifest and crack through the conditioning before blooming into something perfect. Stranger still is those I later met after said events often ran over, beaming, then said:
“Thanks. I finally get what you meant” as she delved into the tale of how, every now and then, she’d do something she regrets, wonder what the hell happened and find a random flash of my voice in her head mention the conversation before I wandered off into the distance as I kept creating the Path you make by walking. In that respect we’ll all get to the destination, in the end, the question is would that have happened if not for the often random interactions that spawned said conversations? Each one, teach one is the mindset and one who is illuminated from within can offer another light in their darkness, even if they don’t comprehend it yet. Some spark with an instant abundance as it was the moment for which they’d been waiting as the promised Prince swoops in and, with a click of his fingers, changes their entire frame of reference whilst upping their wavelength. These type tend to be the ones I mentioned that went through school and noticed it was a bit of swizz as you do need a sprinkle of that rebellious instinct in order to do the Knowledge because it is akin to declaring war on your (false) self that currently pulls the strings of your awareness. Backing it up one step, the girl who started this section said:
“I genuinely thought you were nuts when you mentioned that all of my friends were idiots and holding back my potential development. I know I didn’t want to hear it. What can I say? I was young and stupid with no awareness of my own talents. Thing is, after our rift, I couldn’t get that thought out of my head. It was like that splinter effect you said as I started noticing that when I actually wanted to do something constructive they’d always talk me out of it or say it was ridiculous. Before we met I’d always went along with it and never questioned what was happening. Do you remember what you said? You were rambling on about this grandfather clock analogy and how the loudest tick sets the resonance for the rest and why its vital to check who you’re around is on your wavelength. Back then I didn’t get it. It literally flew over my head but now I comprehend why I didn’t want to hear it. Well, after this, actually, a long while after this if I’m being totally honest, I started noticing it and remembered what you said. It was like each time they attempted to defuse a move of something I really wanted to do I’d hear that tick, tick, tick. After a while I started changing my mind and saying “To hell with them” and stopped requesting their presence and validation. It became “I’m going, you’re welcome to come and if not I’ll see you later”. Thats when it became obvious what was happening and I couldn’t believe you’d seen it so quick and sussed them all in one interaction then presented with a metaphor that was pitch perfect but beyond my comprehension at that level of thinking I possessed. Hah! “The velvet lined trench”, thats what you called it. Anyway, how you been? Its so funny bumping into you like this as its been ages…”.
She’d went on to become that of which I knew she was capable which was quite a thrill as the rose that cracks the pavement does so with an immense determination and confidence as the desire to win manifests in the strength it took to accomplish betting against the odds in a Game that is rigged as it doesn’t want to see you win. No tinfoil needed, you can ask anyone who flipped the script and they’ll attest the validity of this even though their internal resolution may not be at the current level of hypothesis with the whole Game of Souls thing I’ve developed but they were all vital in the refining of an approach I’m fairly certain is quite accurate when it comes to describing the true plight of man and how to transcend the ignorance that weaves a seductive spell that is backed up with habitual repetition and a near total lack of awareness of what truly is happening. Getting back to the initial interaction, as you can probably tell this is just another one of those things and the girl in question may either nourish the rose or ignore it and let it wilt. Who knows, she may even take what I said and notice it in her kid as she spots their glow start to dim not longer after schooling commenced as my voice in her head says:
“This is the hole in your Soul you denied so well, back then”
And that spurs her to make better decisions which, in turn, go on to create a kid that turns the world on its head and none of this would have happened without this interaction so, in that sense, everything is connected so ensure you dance and sing your own lyrics and moves that are genuine because the alternative is being well trained to “Sit still, look ahead!” and its implicit obligation to die with your music within. And that is a fate worse than death that over 81% of the planet tacitly accepted thanks to the vagaries of the System.
The Game of Souls has you, my friend.
Till we meet again
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