We now interrupt their regularly scheduled programming to bring something refreshingly unique and entirely me from my divine point of origin all the way through the cascades of densities and fields that create reality via the persistent illusion we know as Three-D.
Long, long ago, the first time I heard someone rapping bars over a stolen beat I was vibing, instantly. The very fact that they could jack someone else track that was sang on originally and use it to drop a spoken word piece that rhymed so fluently spoke to me in ways that no other music did. Thing is back then nobody knew what rapping was or is and it would take a while for me to find a connect that could provide those things that spin known as vinyl, cassettes then CDs as well because it was a ridiculously underground and overpriced niche, way back when. Amazing isn’t it how this left field curveball went on to have such an immense influence on the world as it is. So many things have became defacto elements of the current global culture even though the art form itself has been horrendously co-opted and exploited then gentrified almost beyond recognition. Thats big business, kid. Can’t create a thing but can cut and paste, amplify and distort with a level of precision and skill that is almost entirely un-human. Thats by the by though, its a celebration bishes!
I always felt that rappers, when at their very best, were modern poets par excellence whose lyrics should be studied for had they pushed the pen, or feathered quill, back in the days of Shakespeares ilk people would definitely give these urban wordsmiths their respect. With that in mind I present:
Rap lyrics in olde English. Try and decode the reference, original titles are linked by clicking the last line of each section if you need a hint of the verses in question:
Fiat currencies dictate juris precedence geographically
non homogenized dairy extracts
Acquire income in single notes, compatriots.
The day still reigns
of the medically trained Andre
who sports still a musket at waist
even though I’ve since aged
Rarely would you find me
relaxing at my titled place
As its far easier to locate my carriage which vibrates
from the sonorous frequencies that oscillate
in the locations I dominate
I express utter disregard toward your female companion and associates when I say
the land where the sun sets is where I’m geographically placed
and thus when we collectively locomote and deftly make our way
you will see we possess the knowledge that will clearly make you quake
Your purported prodigious fornication with females correlates not
with my actual penetration of your mate
I’ll also gladly direct missives at those Delinquent Youths whom you claim
and equate their entire existence to a painful fornication laced with shame.
Observe me trundling in my name brand carriage
Affection would be remiss therefore I may appear a savage
The constabulary are tracking my movements and associations
Which gives me the inkling my inner chamber may be leaking
The details and plans of my dealings and meetings
Cogitating upon a central thesis
whilst naught but perspiration features
within the grasp of my reach, its
The examination of my dividends
which reveals the true source of my chagrin
as no gold nor silver graces
my fervent attempts at embraces
Nay, nothing but spun flax pieces
reward my excavatory feats in
examining the content of my breeches
Young lady
my embrace of the urban environment
allows me to proffer narcotics profitably plus
I’m aware I consume marijuana most profusely
But request clarification on one point if you please:
Beautiful belle,
Do you intend to fellate me?
Aural excitation makes me exclaim
“Praise to the deity
I appreciate all you have gave
From the flows of my prose
To the movement of my toes”
It feels fine to be accepted
And respected by fellows
From the town I call home
As they already know
That the compositional scope
Remains unaffected by
Your attempted grope.
The sky was of the darkest hue
Which was contrasted only by the brightest moon
Third of his name, Warren Griffith am I
Perambulating through with the view
To make the acquaintance of ladies so dainty
Dressed in finest crinoline and shoe
Which I fully intend to remove.
My royalty is proclaimed over mineral formations
at the grandest elevations
Fellatio inclined purveyors of poetry
should heed forbearance
To incinerate my principality
high temperatures are required
Verily I’ll possess the minerals
until I choose to retire
Shards are found wherever one looks
Carefree urination on spaces
designated for domiciliary elevation
Cause an odor most foul
that is equaled only by the sound
that causes a furrow pon brow
If I had the gold I’d cheerily vacate this space
But my options are limited, alas I must wait
Luxuriate and notate as I consume line dried vines of the psychoactive type
Avast! Afore I restrict your breathing with a musket, a musket say I
Corpulent yet dinky, elected official and pugilistic poem purveyor
Who lays with women of ill repute, in contrast to yourself and your Oedipal affairs
Perform your obsecration for divine intercession of the feminine kind
Amazing isn’t it? The way they push the pen and how the message remains intact throughout the ages, phases and spaces. Recognize and realize.
Till we meet again
willhelp.me 