In life we seek safety and happiness yet often meet despair and sadness on the very same streets. Its a strange state of affairs. One I’ve noticed too many times in too many lives for it to be coincidence and it makes me think about the nature of this realm where suffering is ever present. I spoke to a man once who was filthy rotten rich as he sat in his luxurious apartment complex surrounded by all manner of trinkets that signaled his wealth. It wasn’t always like this as he was born into poverty without the proverbial pot into which he may whizz and the requisite window to throw it from was also missing. Not many people can claim margarine and salt sandwiches as the breakfast, lunch and dinner of champions and yet, against the odds, he made it.
What intrigued me was underneath all this he felt a palpable sadness and sense something was missing. This was a state he dared not admit to himself but after a few strippers, drinks and a reasoned line of questions he came to admit that it all felt meaningless and shallow because all the people he met disappeared up his rear end in search of dividends like he was the human equivalent of the geese that laid golden eggs. “You know what I like about you? You’re honest. Too honest really. You’ll never make it in this world telling it how it is. People want to be finessed, BS’d, sold a dream and all the rest. Truth is a fools errand“.
In a sense I had to agree with him because the path hadn’t been working out well when we met but then when one decides their integrity isn’t up for sale, what alternative makes sense than to keep on pressing and see what happens? “In that sense” I said “Wouldn’t striking it rich as you did bring the same but with a whole lot more effort?”. “Ha! Spoken like a poor person. Listen I have the world at my fingertips. I can press a button and erase someones existence if I wish because the higher you get the more you realize the people in the middle are idiots and those at the bottom do our bidding whilst leaving their prints at the crime scene whilst I’m flying on Gulfstream with a flavor of the month celeb. It is what it is. I didn’t make the rules but I sure know how to bend them to my favor. Let me give you some free advice and I hope you take it: Stop this nonsense now. It never ends well for those who think they can take on the world and win. Just look out for yourself, forget the rest, get rich and then you can…”. “Become and fat and depressed?” I interrupted. “Listen, you cheeky git I can get this lipo’d first thing and I’m not in any, way shape or form a mental midget so don’t you ever dare speak to me like that again or…”. “Or what? I won’t make it back home alive or something bad will happen because I told the Emperor he was actually naked? Listen to yourself. You may have gained all these trappings and success but you’re still the same old criminal pulling a new finesse. Except this time its on yourself. How does it feel to be honest for once?”.
He started laughing and poured more drinks. “You really are a basket. A straight up lunatic. Thats why I value your perspective. I do wonder how a man so smart can be so stupid, though. You’ve been given countless chances and turn your nose up at them then run around wasting your time with idiots who are not so much bottom of the barrel but the scum that fell and now rests on the ground. Pure filth. Never achieved a thing and never will. Why? I don’t get it.” he said. “They’re honest” I replied “And there is no pretense because they tell it how it is and they help keep me grounded. In return I drop gems and together we build as I kick knowledge”. “Knowledge? To those barely functioning junkies and wastemen that roam the pavements along with the rest born and raised in impoverishment that come to your premises for counsel? Please. They just nod their heads in agreement and don’t comprehend half of what you said or the intent behind it. The truth is you hang with them as it allows you to feel better about yourself and the fact you’re afraid to live after having been scared to death. I know. I know… You should never have refused the hand that was extended in friendship because those that knight you can also good night you with a quickness if you don’t do as instructed”.
He had a point about a few things, this I had to admit, but was off the mark on others. We sat there drinking, thinking and reminiscing about why the world is so wicked and how it needs bad men to keep worse from the door and the only thing better than evening an old score is a bevy of fresh whores because “Either way you’re paying for it” he says, with a grin “And this way I control the strings in return for false displays of affection with no extra headache or pimping”. “Did you hear that?” I said “The hollow ring of your life that is lived purely on the surface of image, indulged whims and unbridled luxury“. He replied, still grinning “Better than the alternative, my philosophical friend, as all that crap you talk doesn’t pay the bills, doesn’t buy these kind of buildings and doesn’t command the respect I get when I walk down the strip as they whisper and nod when they see me coming”. “Yes” I said “The Emperor is naked and they dare not admit for fear of losing the life they hate and so desperately cling as you extort their business in the name of protection. How very noble”. “Hey, if it wasn’t me it would be someone else and I take care of the ends. Nothing is free in this world” he stated with an emphatic nod of his large, cauliflower eared head.
In life we seek safety and happiness yet often meet despair and sadness on the very same streets. Whilst this example may be far removed from the life you live best believe the attitude of this gangster turned businessman is no different to those of your politicians and various magnates as they all repeat the same vibe on the same tapes that play in their heads as the way it is whilst those underneath grumble and mumble discreetly about the state of play but make sure they pay promptly each week. He calls it protection money. They call it taxes. One and the same thing because they’re right when they say crime doesn’t pay because it collects. Both use the same threats and menaces along with identical tactics to scout talent with less and bring them in for enforcement and encouragement to the rest they can make it, if only they acquiesce and do as instructed. You call this an education and the rewards that it brings whilst the jits see it as street fame and thus are willing to put that work in so the man at the top of the pyramid keeps stacking chips that clean the blood money that walks through various entrances and this, this is the model upon which the world is built as the helpless, the powerless, the innocent run that way and this through this maze built in the abyss and those at the top live in a different world that flies high above the laws that don’t apply to them as there is only one rule, one statement, one intent that dictates every thought, deed and action:
“Whats in it for me?”
Five words that lie at the heart of reality. At least, attempt to fill the gap where that which used to beat once lived but vacated its seat to a different kind of beast that prowls and feeds then rinses and repeats.
I can’t help but question the nature of this reality and the way it comes to be and a lot of what he said about my perspect hit the nail pon the head as it truly doesn’t make any sense to bet against odds so immense when you’ve barely managed to rustle up a single chip but sometimes you’ve got to do just this. Know why?
I was raised and came from a place laced with despair and sadness. I know the language like my mother tongue and each time I’ve attempted to seek safety and happiness its been flipped into a weapon to force me back from where I came. And yet, I keep pressing on. It sounds crazy even to say and to live is insane as there isn’t one of you out there than can comprehend the pain that flows through my veins or motivation for doing this when I say I’ll change the Game because for me it isn’t about what I can get but what I can give and if all I have is words that spread solid gold wisdom for those with the ears to hear then so be it because I’ve placed my bet and now let the wheel spin and we’ll see what happens because I’ve had enough of taking it and being afraid of my own strength as they play with my awareness and make each moment a living hell for daring to even think about helping my people.
The intent behind this missive isn’t depressive. Far from it because you can’t get out of a situation if you refuse to accept it exists as every ex-addict attests. And, from what I can tell, there are very few Souls in this realm that aren’t suffering to some depth. Most are entirely oblivious of the pain they carry within and how it impinges upon their awareness due to the sheer strength of their coping mechs and investment therein yet so few seem to question what the hell happens to the children to make them lose their glow of Inner Sense and become Adulterated. I posit that the root cause of all of our despair and sadness stems from this schism and it, itself, refs something far more dramatic that happened on the planet, back when, as the sky fell and we are the inheritors of a traumatic imprint that leaps from one gen to the next and manifests itself as the dysfunction we take for granted and, much like the Emperors undress, it takes the eyes of innocence to see it as it is otherwise sleepwalking in a trance is all ye shall get.
Who knows, you know? I really do wonder if I’m wrong for seeing it or is the world incorrect as they all seem to somehow ignore it. Sometimes I feel like I’m from another realm and just visiting your planet as I’ve never, ever felt like I fit even though, once upon a when, I pretended to be ignorant as it beat the alternative but now I stand alone promulgating my own brand of crazy wisdom that says:
The Game of Souls has you, my friend.
Till we meet again
