One of the most foolish things I did for a vast chunk of my life in this realm was try to control factors outside of my sphere. It was so stupid that I look back at it now and shake my head as it caused me so much stress and didn’t actually change a thing, no matter how much effort I put in. Then I smile at the fact that I got it and thats the topic of this missive for masses:
Control your Kingdom. The one within. You have no idea when your breath will end. Friends may betray, just when you need them. Relationships that were bathed in affection could overflow with hatred and countless other variations on the scales that life presents. One thing, and one thing only, remains constant throughout all of this. Your Kingdom. The world surrenders to one who rules his dome because the greatest secret of the Game is all of this plays out inside your awareness so why whizz in the wind when toilets have been invented? Upgrade your internal OS and watch reality shift to accommodate the presence of one who is in resonance with the Witness that makes all things possible. Let me give you an example:
A man was convinced his wife was going to cheat on him. He spent money on having people track her, he snooped on her messages and did all kinds of things. He didn’t find anything but was certain something was happening. I asked him “Why not just divorce her instead?“. He looked at me like I had two heads. “That isn’t the point. The point is she’s mine and I know something is happening. I just need to catch her in the act and then…”. “Then what? Get divorced? If thats the goal and you’re truly so certain why keep creating hurdles when its simply a sprint? Fill in a few forms and good riddance”. Once again, he didn’t get it as his fixation rendered him blind to everything else. The truth of the matter is his life was ran by a Pattern that said “Women can’t be completely trusted” ergo he was, himself, creating the circumstance that would generate the inevitable because who wouldn’t want a respite from this with some off limits affection? He might as well have called her a cab and handed her some latex.
In my own life I constantly stressed about variables that were so far out of my influence that it made me miss the opportunities that were present. Part of my situation was that I was dealing with narcissists and that, psychologically speaking, is like wrestling with an octopus. You simply can’t win. And yet, the moment I disconnected they corrected themselves as there was no more energy extraction possible because I was no longer interested in playing the Game they presented. Bottom line is, you are the problem. Not them. Nine times out of ten (with one thrown in for luck as well) you have attracted these people and situations in order to bring these Patterns into consciousness and therefore defuse them. Think of the woman that constantly shifts jobs and always says the same thing “They don’t appreciate all the effort I put in” followed by “But this ones different”. Until it isn’t. There are countless ways these aberrations manifest but the solution is always identical:
Know thy Self.
In her case she thought that constant brown nosing, over doing and taking on tasks beyond her spec were the way to get ahead but that, in reality, just made her workspace uncomfortable as her intent was obvious. I told her “Have you ever noticed that your direct supervisors are dimwits? Usually they can be quite incompetent and often you wonder “How the hell did they get this position?””. She nodded her head and said “Yes, always. I feel like I’m surrounded by idiots and I’ll show them by setting an example”. Here is where whats in her head and reality itself were divergent because most people who are promoted are done so as they are not a threat to the one directly above them. Its a sad state of affairs but exactly how it is. Next they usually have people skills or don’t mind playing the role of the heel for his superior so he can take the shine and the other guy is despised. There are many layers to this so it can get quite complex but, once spotted, its obvious. Just like her attempts to get ahead by this type of domination were not met well as no one else in her office was giving anywhere near what she did as they preferred coasting whereas she needed to sit in the top seat and was willing to do anything to get there.
After a conversation she comprehended what was happening and after quitting and moving to another location she dialed it in a bit. I told her “Don’t volunteer for anything. Simply accept any assignment and do it really, really well with no fuss or expectation of acclaim. If someone asks for help, grant it but don’t peer over their desk and say “You should do this, and that, then this” because you might as well slap them and call them incompetent“. It went totally against the grain of her programming and would’ve been next to impossible to implement until she started asking the question: “When did I first feel the need to act like this?“.
After unpeeling a few shells she traced the nascent drive to excel back to when her parents were thinking of divorcing. These times can be hard on children, no matter how you try to hide them (and they didn’t). Arguments were full belt and each would blame the other for something. Her little world was being ripped apart and she poured all of this rage and regret into getting good grades instead because the voice in her head said “If you get all As then everything will be perfect and they’ll stay together”. Magical thinking, in full effect. She ended up going on a family trip with her folks to see a grandmother who was ailing and lived out in the sticks. During this holiday everything shifted as her parents patched things up by walking in nature in an environment totally different to the one they were accustomed and reframed their relationship and decided to stay together for the long haul. Handily this all kicked around the time her school report was sent with A’s across the bench and, in her head, what she’d done had worked and thus formed the blueprint for the Pattern that was etched into her subconscious and had ran her life until our conversation.
Once she accepted this, got in touch with the feelings and vented them by connecting with the child within she felt an immense sense of liberation as it no longer felt like she was alone in the ring and fighting against an invisible Opponent that threatened her with destruction if she didn’t excel in all she attempted. Afterwards she commented “I can’t believe I was putting all that effort in, getting the wrong results and then doing it all again. Ha! How stupid!”. And yet the vast majority of the world is under the influence of these Patterns as they sleepwalk through their existence as little more than meat puppets. Amusingly she rose in her new organization because everyone saw she was capable and gained what she craved by using ways she didn’t previous think were paved or even options. “You create the path by walking” I said, as she nodded her head and stated “Makes sense” and got back on with the business of living.
It really is that simple and thats why its essential to control your Kingdom hence Know thy Self is the way of living for any Warrior on a mission to actualize their true potential as they apply their energies in the optimal direction. The rest is mere distractions and world building which never ends well because reality vs expectation are two different things so why not just accept the world as it is? This doesn’t mean you’re powerless. On the contrary, my friend, as you gain such an immense strength that you rise above things like petty arguments, office politics and a thousand and one other distractions which are time sinks and not in your best interests. You can’t control what others say but what you think is entirely your domain and this brings us to the concept of feathers and anvils:
If you let ideas just be without emotionally investing they invariably float away as change in the only constant in the Game. If, on the other hand, you pile in and keep replaying them in your head you increase their strength as they become heavy and dense. Get enough of these and they form Patterns where one activates the rest in an IF, AND, OR, THEN chain of events that creates a downward spiral that feels like an abyss as it sucks your potential in, chews it up and then spits it out again. Its like playing the Game of Souls on defensive as you’re always reacting. Flip that a bit and choose creating instead by controlling your Kingdom and becoming aware of these processes and the nature of the influence as you defuse them by tracing them back to their inception and rendering them conscious. Then, and only then, can you truly claim to be taking steps toward freedom otherwise a Slaves existence describes best those who attempt to please everyone and feel intensely dissatisfied themselves or keep bumping heads with the same problems or countless other examples that make up the day to day ills of the vast majority of the populace.
Make better decisions.
Till we meet again
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