There is something very, very strange about this place. Maybe its this stage of the Game or the way that I play as I don’t know that many other people that were born in the jaws of the dragon so it is what it is. What am I speaking of? Shattering to become whole, my friend. It is, by far, the most radical aspect of all of this as its so mind boggling to comprehend. But, that in itself is a massive hint because as I mentioned in a previous topic about how the ego was born by a thorn placed within that caused a numbing process there are certain things that happen to bring us face to faceless with the true Self and then the counterfeit at the helm doth yelp as it spent so much of your time and energetics pretending said event didn’t happen.
But it did.
You, currently, may not know it. Heck, even me who pretty much specializes in inner excavation spent around a decade and change skirting around it whilst indulging in all types of coping mechanisms until the events got so heated that the solve et coagula effect kicked in and broke me down to the very basics. Then proceeded to stomping. Hoo wee! At the time that it kicked I was wondering “What the F?” but then a part of me was aware this was the way to transcendence and it just so happened that I actually possessed all of the resources needed to navigate these seas, treacherous. I’ve detailed these adventures in other missives in the Near Life Experience section but the latest twists and turns make the previous look like a sweet sojourn in a tropical island of bliss as we went above and beyond the limits of the skin and this spin of incarnation hence old scores and past lives was the topic. What did I gain from this? The benefits are immense. Can you imagine Knowing (capital K) that you are not the flesh, the story in your head or any of the others things you previously accepted? Instead you discover something so subtle and numinous that it was only by the destruction of your old perspectives could you finally grok what was hidden. Its akin to spending your life watching a motion pic play out on a screen as you sit in the audience, spectating. Lets pretend that you don’t go clock the reel or whatever does project but the actual, factual source of light itself. Then you comprehend that from one life to the next, awake or in bed, this glow remains constant for you are it, my friend.
In such a scenario could you bear any ill will to those Agents of the Matrix that set into motion said events that caused all types of commotion in your subconscious? Methinks not. Your mileage may vary but I had seen many consumed by the futile rage of such things as well as having many elucidating conversations with schizophrenics and mystics who, in the end, are simply two poles of the same spectrum. Except the latter swims where the former is drowning. The difference? He looked into the light and didn’t blink as he realized this realm is a projection of his consciousness and thus all is within with the outer merely reflecting. The former didn’t get this memo and that is akin to trying to use earthbound GPS when teleported to another planet in a far off dimension where the rules of the Game are quite different.
Shattering to become whole is, hands down, one of the most radical concepts I’ve bitten then digested on this trip in the flesh but it also makes so much sense when loads of previous incarnations have been spent in prep of this. Thing is the body is drawn toward pleasure and away from pain. That is the (false) selfs Game and it plays it, real well. It not only has an ensemble cast to help but your own friends and fam who are hell bent on having you dig the same reality tunnel as them. Even if they’re miserable. Scratch that, especially if as you know what they say about company, yes? Cue extended periods of isolation which, for a man gregarious, was like telling a fish it has wings and was actually tricked into thinking this as its true aspect is that of a bird, born to soar. Imagine this:
You are walking through a forest. It is overgrown and dense. Your water supplies are looking thin. You are truly out on a limb with no way to turn and not a clue of who can help. High, high overhead there flies a bird and, from its lens, there is a brook, babbling, just off in the distance. That is time travel, is it not? From your view the place is in your future and if you find it, uncertain. For he with wings its the present and the Path is direct. In this example we’re talking about the relationship between your earthbound consciousness and true Self that never left or disconnected from the Prime, the pre-existing one who is the all of everything. It was this connection that I forged in the depths of hell as I knew that all around was naught but deception and illusion that was designed to trick as this is the Game on its highest level ergo the greater the fear the grander the win. In essence. We all have Witnessed this. Ranging from the time you left a gig before things got complicated that those who stayed lived to regret up to the day you met a girl that seemed totally perfect but something within you made you shake your head and walk away, back to loneliness, as you wondered why the heck you did this. Later on it becomes clear as Buddhas tale of Maras daughter rings in your awareness and see how it was simply a test. Then the shattering doth commence.
At this stage, nebulous, its easy to feel frightened. So you should. Admit it. Sink into the sensation whilst asking “When else did I feel like this?”. Keep tracing these sensations back and something very, very strange happens as its almost like you’re possessed as your limbs start flailing and you vent what was suppressed. This is how I met the Pane Body, back when. After that it became Self evident that this is a Game of three halves, no less, as there is what you know you know, what you know you don’t and the third stroke is masterful as you didn’t know you weren’t aware of what you didn’t think exists and thus never even spent one iota of time contemplating it. This is where the shattering kicks in as you find your Self in a very strange place (see GPS comment) and it clicks that what got you here won’t get you out the other end. It was at just that moment I heard my totem, flying overhead. It was something I’d seen, now and then, but never truly felt. I noticed that it seamed to react to my attention as it moved in circles that spiraled then said “Follow me” in a voice, silent. So I did. Through brambles and bush with thorns and such things I saw red, vicious, eyes sitting there twinkling. My canteen was low and my stomach rumbling as my nerves were tumbling like clowns in the main event. I just put one foot in front of the next and thus found my oasis at which I drank my fill, licked my wounds and thought “What the heck?”. Then we set off to do it all again. And again. And again.
Its from this place, high up a hill of consciousness, that I type this missive with the intent of sharing some guidance for those who don’t have rock solidly fluid intuition to offer them guidance as life is always speaking but not many can listen. Those who do are often seen as schizophrenic as they string together said symbols into a narrative which, to an outsider, makes no sense but, to them, are the only sane option. The zany truth of this is its actually the world thats flipped its lid and the outsane one has the correct reaction when coming face to faceless with what life has hidden. I strongly suspect that each and every one of us will, in some incarnation, have to take this trek as its the only way out of this realm and once you handle the baggage the obstacles melt and the jungle, so fearsome, appears to offer cryptic hints as those eyes, shining red, now appear as becaons to highlight your steps as the foliage and such things bend and sway to make room for the Prince who crowns him Self. You could be strolling and think “I’m hungry” just as a ripe fruit falls from a tree overhead and lands in your grip as your hand naturally extends due to your newfound resonance. “Isn’t that something?” the Warrior thinks with a grin as he stops to notice what was once invisible. The bird in the tree that nudged said sustenance lets out a trill as its quite a thrill for it to see you comprehend the subtle message that plays in your awareness when Centered in Self.
This is the reason I send these texts to the web and into the collective unconscious because you may read and not comprehend but in a life yet to kick said lessons will be there, when needed, as you find yourself shattered on a trek without a frame of reference as a subtle whim makes your head tilt as you notice a bird that seems oddly familiar, circling…
There is a reason why I’ve said there is but one story, what Campbell called the Heroes Journey as the Game is quite simple yet staggeringly complex. What do you expect when you comprehend we’re inside a fractal of consciousness that collapses and erects in each instance depending on your resonance? On the day to day, for those running the treadmill, this can be very easily reality tested as there are times when you’ve leapt out of bed, feeling amazing, and everything else aligns so well you may feel like you were born under a star, twinkling. Nothing else has shifted. Just your perception or point of assemblage I call the Witness and with it the whole world rearranges to your whim as you start decoding different instead of being encoded, as expected. This, alone, can break many Slaves out of their Cave of ignorance but the thing with the zone of discomfort is that its a rut lined with velvet that was furnished by the Devil himself, the one you know best aka the voice in your head. Are you seeing how schizos fall into this as they click they aren’t it but that which listens and thus dip a toe in the DKDK aspect I said and then all hell breaks loose as this world is built on tamping resonance hence the drugs don’t work so refuse to take them. Except there is no due process for madmen. Murderers, yes. Even when caught red handed but woebetide the man who dares question the script life handed him which is why, in the days of yore, the Shaman lived some distance from the village, usually up a hill.
Why? For the isolation. What else? See, lifes greatest secret is there is no “out there” without an “in here”. Taking it back to the day things go well you may notice you look in the mirror and feel quite attractive as you see your features with a new lens and this causes a reaction from the feminine principle who say you’re looking well as you nod your head and engage in smooth conversation that takes no effort to showcase your wit, sparkling. Sure beats lying in bed at Two AM as you think of the perfect comeback you could’ve said as you play both sides of a conversation that didn’t happen to rehearse an outcome that is as distant as water under a bridge. Thats outsane, isn’t it? And yet, everyone does it. See what I said about everyday madness that nobody questions? Until they do and its “Quick, to the mental asylum!“. The dangers of awakening are akin to walking uphill on thorns with no shoes present. You will bleed. There will be pain. Until you comprehend that you actually spread said things for just such a reason and then they turn to rose petals instead and the reason nature made the stem for something so pure that vicious becomes Self evident.
The silence on this aspect in modern texts or culture as it is is a huge tell to how the Path of Power threatens the intent at the helm and yet there is one beyond this that sent the bird and he who is linked as an aspect made flesh. Fascinating stuff, that is for certain, as things are never the same again for one ups their res to such a dramatic level that its akin to seeing the code where you were once plugged in and not allowed to ask questions as you thought you had it sussed in a life, predictable, that actually bored you death but the idea of change caused so much stress that ambivalence kicked in with a thick layer of coping mechs hence I sing the familiar refrain, yet again, for those who hear me on AM with one speaker busted and loads of static thrown in as they sing along to a song called “Only Human” with misrepresented lyrics and no way of correcting. That is, until they melt aka shattering to become whole so say it with me, people:
The Game of Souls has you, my friend.
Till we meet again
