Your mind has a gearbox. By this I mean you can generate many different states of consciousness but there are two that are most interesting as one is standard equipment and the other is installed by the System. I’ll let you tell which one is controlling your existence as we progress but remember – There is always an option. In that respect life (and death) is nothing but a long negotiation in which you are either Victim or Opponent. Lets back up a step, I’ll tell you how I discovered it.
I hated school. Absolutely detested it and would often stare out of the window at nothing as I felt a sense of freedom identifying with the wind that flew like my imagination. Quite common, yes? I’m pretty sure everyone did this or something like it. Much like a sense of losing limits the being forced to sit still and rigid was transcended at its inception via this entirely natural mechanism. Its at this point a teacher would either slam his fist on the desk, kick out a table leg or yell my name across the class in order to break what resists the spell they were casting and demands your entire attention to absorb and regurgitate what they’re handing via standardized testing. This, again, I’m sure is quite common, yes? Thing is I’d map the differences between these two states of awareness and found the whole thing totally fascinating.
Were your margins filled with doodles of ink as the creative expression within that was being stifled via this institutionalized limitation found a way to sing and dance as opposed to sitting down and still? Mine were. I’d often start a new school book at both ends. One had what they were teaching and the other what I was saying and this was a huge object of chagrin for those teaching as I’d be filling their blank pages with my vision as opposed to what they mentioned. It didn’t matter to me though. I kept at it. Comicbook series that were penned on the fly as well as cascading images and various writing styles and countless other things like diagrams of inventions I would build or tech taken apart down to its components. There was a lot happening within and I can’t be sure if everyone else in the class felt it or if I was actually the public nuisance and private menace they labeled and often ejected from the premises for his outright challenges and unwillingness to acquiesce.
“How can I learn a thing from you when you don’t even have a clue without the teachers edition with the answers in?” I said. Not intending to diss, just making a statement in response to his question: “Why haven’t you learned anything?“. Needless to say he went beet red, started flapping and commanded me to exit stage left, which I did with happiness. “There goes the class clown, grinning” he said, after I left. “Well, the jokes on him because good marks bring a good job and your whole life is built on this so pay no attention to that idiot. Bette noir!” he added for a good measure. Turns out the yokes on him because in a couple of years I’d make in a day than what he did from a week of teaching and that ever present hatred became more loud and visceral. You know, I’d got it down to a fine art because so many times now I could get ejected just as I’d stepped in or, better yet, when still in the hallway waiting. To me it was perfect. It afforded me more time to research my inner realm.
After a while it became obvious that they weren’t checking to see if I’d stayed or left and thus I started to jet to the library instead. “Can’t say I’m skipping school if I haven’t left the premises” I chortled to myself as I read the topics I wished to know about and then introspected on the message to see if it seemed resonant.
These events were the seeds of the realization about the gearbox in my head but by no means the final incarnation that made it obvious. That would come from a computer game instead.
I’d be willing to bet that everyone knows that flow state feeling that comes from when you’re playing a title that is quite intricate, offers a nice challenge along with a skill ceiling and narrow band of perfection, yes? A lot of people hate this and prefer games that are “Press A to win” but some of us came up in an era when “Nintendo hard” needed more than a pause as you were liable to fling your controller across the room and scream “The computers cheating! Thats impossible”. It was in the opposite of these moments where my digital equivalent was dodging bullets like Neo in the Matrix that I realized the resonance between me staring out the window, back when, and imaging we and the sunshine were one thing and how it felt when meeting shadows doing their own thing. The exact same identical feeling. It was enough to stop me playing.
At first I tried chasing it. Observing it whilst still being the other version the school was trying to instill. “Not happening” I clicked because the former was effortless as the latter was directed. “It feels more diffuse. Like the difference between candy floss and a stick” I said to a friend on the pavement as we strolled back to freedom once outside the confines of the concentration camp wing of the System. “So what are you saying? Languid flossing is the way it is and threat of the stick is some kind of trick? Wait a sec, is that why they always hammer “Sit up straight, look ahead” as a way to make you rigid?” he replied after truly thinking. “Exactly, exactly” I said, getting excited. “OK, OK, OK, I’m with it” he added as he picked up the resonance and on went the rest of the conversation which would mark my first steps into the realms of metaphysics.
Now there was a framework. Better yet there was more than me reality testing so it would be interesting to see what happens as we compared notes from within our own personal imperience. Thing is, as I’d find, not many are truly cut out for this. The type of effort it takes can bring strain to many and he was, in the end, simply interested in becoming a better player of a game that was making everyone furious so he could claim bragging rights on the playground as he showed his mad skills. Now I knew what Bruce Lee meant when he said “Not the finger, the moon you idiot!” because you can lead someone anywhen and then watch as they die thirsting for what is right in front of them. Not to give in I asked everyone around me. No one had heard of it but a few musicians and drug addicts had gained a hint but found its presence most elusive.
Next time it happened at school and I was sitting I flicked to the back page of my book and drew this:
Over time I added this:
Then my imagination said “Check this”:
And unfolded visions, within, via my pineal. We are born with the eye of Inner Sense fully open at the apex of our own pyramid of consciousness and this world, via its various limbs of the System, shuts it down to gain its own form of influence and control in the darkness it instilled via the second nature state of Adulteration most don’t question. Anyone who has taken a hallucinogenic, had really great sex, competed in a sport at their effortless zenith, danced after getting out of the way of themselves to a soundtrack that lifted their consciousness or pressed some buttons in a room filled with darkness as a proxy character on screen dodged obstacles with an effortless grace knows this state. They just don’t label it. Its almost like something, within, wishes to keep this gnosis hidden as its a threat to its domination. What is interesting, however, is what kicks when the Flow switch is tripped.
One becomes timeless in the sense that only the now exists. I call this resonance being Centered in Self and once you comprehend that the gold you hold in the mid is pimped by the teams, blue and red, that make up everything from street gangs to politics as well as the fields of pugilism and corporate branding a lot about a bit makes way more sense… I guess thats why they want it hid as an aware populace is much harder to trick ergo whenever I’ve said that the Game of Souls has you, my friend, I’ve meant that on so many levels of consciousness that its akin to transcending a Matrix to find it nested within another simulation that, itself, is part of a construction as well.
The wildest thing is that none of it exists without your attention which is why everyone begs for it but, soon enough, when the children of the cloud do step in there will be but one mind between them. But, as the text attests, there will always be proto-hackers in their midst that will find clever ways to bypass the low level tech, implanted, that offers silicon wings of false bliss inside a mildly hallucinogenic trip they’ll call “Being human”.
Till we meet again
